Kissing Your Grandmother Isn't Dating

I'm going to give you a description of a kiss knowing that the description is heavily weighted in favor of supporting a story that a couple is newly dating.

'_______ kissed _________ with a closed mouth on the corner of his lips.

'There was definitely a bit of caressing going on. She was clutching his arm. The body language was very romantic.'

Now in those blanks I want you to insert Grandma kissed grandson. Then if grandma stroked your arm or patted you on the back would it seem odd? Hell no. Now if grandma slipped you the tongue, then that would be odd. Not for the Hogan family, but for the rest of the world it would be.

Of course if there had been tongue, then I wouldn't be writing this now would I? Star Magazine is reporting that Michelle Williams is dating Spike Jonze. Now, honestly they very well could be, but if some lame ass kiss is all they have to support it then this is pretty flimsy. This happened in NY, so maybe things are different there. Here in LA, people kiss their damn garbageman. I really shouldn't say damn garbageman, because honestly I don't need trash dumped all over my car again. I don't think it was intentional, but then again, I also don't think they were too happy about me continually throwing garbage from my car everyday on to the set of Chuck last year either so maybe it was.

In any event, if I were Star and was trying to sell this as romantic I would have left off the closed mouth thing. Just say she kissed him on the lips and was caressing him. That's the way to sell romance. All you are doing with this description is saying that Spike is a friend. You show me a brand new relationship and then show me a kiss like this and I'll show you a picture of Reese and Jake.

I think Michelle deserves some happiness and I'm all for a new relationship. Hell, I love Spike also so I think it would be great for both of them, but this? This doesn't sound like it.