Thursday, July 17, 2008

He Sees You When You're Sleeping


No, this isn't about Santa Claus, although I would like to point out there are only 160 more shopping days until Christmas so at anytime now we should start seeing all the fake snow and decorations come out.

I was reading Verne Troyer's interview with E! and he was talking about how his girlfriend still lives with him even though she has been trying to make a buck off the dude. Apparently he is taking legal action to kick her out. That could take awhile. In the meantime, he had this to say, "She's still in the house. It makes it even harder, to, you know, not strangle her."

I want you to look at the photo above and I want you to imagine Verne Troyer sneaking around the house at night. You hear the hum of his motorized scooter coming closer and closer to you door which you hope and pray you have locked. You hear him stop, and know he is going to come in and try and finish you off. He said it. He would love to strangle you and so you wonder if the door is locked.

The door knob jiggles. It doesn't turn, but it does jiggle. You get out of the bed to check to see if the door is locked. You do it quietly, knowing that he is outside the door, with his little reptilian tongue sticking out as he concentrates. You start to hear a thumping sound and then again the jiggle.

And then it hits you, Verne can't reach the doorknob to turn it and that thumping sound his him jumping up and down. You relax, until you hear him getting back into his chair. He is in the chair now and manages to open the door. However it is an outward opening door and Verne can't quite manage the trick in his chair of opening the door and moving the chair enough to get inside so finally just settles for yelling.

Sleep well. Until you hear him in the vents.

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