So, yesterday we had the singer who was stabbed to death and had her body mutilated. Today's story is much more gruesome. I am not going to reprint it here, because some of you may find it too horrifying mixed in with the snark and fluff. So, you need to click here and read it on the Mirror.
Here is my question which you can answer without reading the details if you like. The gist of it is that a 17 year old British girl was allowed by her parents to move to Brazil and move in with a 20 year old Brazilian guy she had met in the UK. He killed her on Saturday and then went to a party before disposing of the body. His disposal is the horrific part, not to mention the pictures he took while doing it.
I am all for kids going out of the country on supervised visits. I think it is important and broadens an education to see how other people live. I don't think there is ever any way on this earth that I would let my 17 year old kid, male or female go live with their significant other in another country, especially someone they had only known a short time. Yes, it can happen in your own country, but at least in your own country, presumably you have some sort of assistance or your loved ones can see if something is turning into a possibly ugly situation.
Her parents are f-ing idiots! I didn't allow my younger sister to cross the street until she was 12! At least being overprotective and asking lots of questions of who and where she was with has kept her alive and doing well. It's apalling that that girl's parents thought nothing of sending her across the world without familial supervision. They're as much to blame. Yes, making mistakes is part of growing up and learning, however, you're supposed to protect your child from making stupid choices if they are potentially dangerous, not help them along!
ReplyDeleteThat's a really horrible story. Awful and sad. But as much as I love you Ent, I have to question why your first instinct is to immediately start blaming this girl's parent or parents (the article mentions mother and brother, no father mentioned specifically).
ReplyDeleteThere's no indication in the article as to what the circumstances were when this girl moved. There are about a billion unknown factors here, including how much the mother was even aware of. Even if your assumptions are correct, this is a case of someone making a choice that is vastly different than the one you would make. I am uncomfortable with the initial response being to harshly judge someone who has just lost their child.
I assume her family really couldn't be "bothered" with the hassle of raising a 17 year old girl, so off with psycho boyfriend you go now sweetie! And no, I would never let my child travel alone to a foreign country, with or without a "special someone" in their lives.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note, I keep waiting for a blog on the missing girl Caylee Anthony and her psycho mother Casey.
Lots of gory stories today. I just read about the murder on the Greyhound bus in Manitoba. Really disturbing stuff.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing in the article that indicates that the family "let" her do this. She could have easily run away from home, with the parents not knowing where she was or not knowing until she arrived in Brazil. Let's not make assumptions about the parents. They are going through a terrible time right now.
ReplyDeleteGreyhound, $68.00 or less. No Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHarriet- I can't even click on that story.
ReplyDeleteYou are off your rocker, Ent. There is nothing in that article that says they allowed her to leave. I know when I was 17 if I wanted to go, I went.
ReplyDeleteI am curious as to why the family doesn't want to go to Brazil. If it were my daughter, I would find the fastest flight out, bribe the judge, and kill him with my bare hands. He's a sick little f*ck.
That Greyhound thing was like it should be out of a movie - not bloody Manitoba. Scary that stuff is happening more and more here.
ReplyDeleteJib - Bloody Manitoba? Was that pun intentional?
ReplyDeleteWhat if she was already living on her own and just went with her boyfriend? It's not unheard of for 16 year olds to be living on their own. I was. My parents would have no RIGHT to say where I went or who I was with.
ReplyDeleteI am not blaming anyone, but most likely a 17 year old girl with 2 tatoos who left the continent she was living on to live with someone she barely knew was probably not controllable, & I doubt her parents gave their blessing.--Again, please don't read into me blaming anyone--the parents probably could not do anything to get her to stay--she must have taken off.
ReplyDeletelol Nope.
ReplyDeleteTo say the parents aren't to responsible, at least partially, is ridiculous. If my "wild" 17 year-old fled the country, my ass would be on the next flight out to Brazil to find her and take her home. I don't know the laws in Brazil but I would assume that at 17, she was a minor and if her parents didn't want her in Brazil, they could have stopped her.
ReplyDeleteIt could also be the parents had no clue how to find her, & no resources.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe they didn't care.
I guess she wasn't an exchange student?
ReplyDeleteThat's horrible. He killed her so she wouldn't go to the cops about his cocaine? Just...there are no words.
Also, since I just woke up, what did I miss about Greyhound and Mani..OH MY GOD
http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=692752
I need more information before I start to blame anybody at all except the sick psycho fuck who killed her.
ReplyDeleteAs for that Manitoba thing - yeah. Why watch horror movies when the real thing is out there? *shudders*
There are days when I'm glad I never had kids....
Okay I googled a bit and It seems she and her bf have been there for 3 months, on tourism (not student) visas
ReplyDeleteA spokeswoman for the Goias state police said Burke and her boyfriend, named as Dioli Mohammed, came to Brazil on tourism visas around three months ago. He is being held as a suspect in her death, she said.
Karine Neves, a spokeswoman for the British Embassy in Brasilia, said it was unclear what Burke was doing in Brazil or how long she had been in the country.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/jul/31/internationalcrime.brazil
While I agree that as a parent I would like to think i could go get her, does anyone know at what age the teen becomes a legal adult there? Maybe her family simply couldn't legally force her to come back? (just a thought, this whole thing is awful)
sorry there is no fucking way at 17 my parentsd would let me go live with some random dude in another continent. wild child or not.
ReplyDeleteobviously the parents are not to blame, the psycho who did this to her is,but maybe some discretion by the parents in the first place may have preveented it. she met him in London, it could have easily happened there instead of Brazil.
Without laying blame as to how she got there, there is one thing that really bothers me...why are they not flying there to pick up her remains?
ReplyDelete"Her brother Michael, 32, said his family had not decided whether or not to travel to Brazil, and that all they wanted was for police to find the rest of her body so she could be brought home to them."
There seems to be a sense of detachment that just seems cold.
Because they don't have all of her yet. And police are not going to release her to anyone until they're finished investigating, confession or not.
ReplyDeleteI believe the legal age of majority in Brazil is 18.
Let's not read anything into this story that isn't fact. The only fact known is that she's dead and this monster killed her. Given how he did it, I wonder if he's done it before.
i'm not touching this one with a ten-foot pole
ReplyDeleteShe was 17, not 7.
ReplyDeleteI moved out of home when I was 16 and my parents didnt know what the hell I was getting up to. They arent bad parents at all - Different kids need different boundaries and I did just fine, in fact I learnt a lot from the experience! However, I know a lot of other women who are in their early twenties and still cant handle the responsibility of living away from home on their own.
I also have a sister in law who had seen much of the world by the time she was 17 (Without parent supervision) as she studied in a number of different countries, before finally settling here in Australia at the age of 18.
What happened to the poor girl from the UK is a horrible, horrible thing - and I hope the monster who did this to her burns in hell - but lets not paint all families with the same broad brush while losing sight of what the real issues are.
Don't kids graduate high school in England at 16? So hey, she could be done with school.
ReplyDeleteAt 16 in the UK, you can leave school. At 17 in the UK, you can leave home without your parents' consent.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the age for getting an Adult passport in the UK?
ReplyDeleteFWIW:
If you surf over to the Times UK Online their front page story states that the Mama identified the remains by recognizing her Daughter's tattoo --> which read, 'Mum'
...
"Cara’s brother, Michael Burke, told The Times that she had travelled to South America three months ago with two Brazilian friends. Mr Burke, 30, said: “He met her out there. They were not a couple. They had only known each other for a short time.”
His sister had been due to return to London two weeks ago but was injured in a motorcycle crash on the way to the airport, he said. “My mum had paid for the ticket home and we were looking forward to having her back,” Mr Burke said."
Pandora: What is the age for getting an Adult passport in the UK?
ReplyDeleteIn the UK, at 16 you can get an adult passport.
Maybe the parents thought she'd be living with the family and not just the boyfriend? Regardless, I don't think I'd give my blessing easily.
ReplyDeleteHer family might not be able to afford to fly over there--including a place to stay while there and leaving jobs behind, etc. Some people have horrible credit and few resources.
As someone else said we don't know all the details yet.
I think in the UK, it's called a "gap year": a chance to travel the world (or whatever you want to do) for a year before going off to college. My husband, who is English, has done it, as has his sister and all of their friends. It's a great way to learn about the world.
ReplyDeleteIt's a different culture, people. Not everything is US prudish-centric.
The only person to blame is the guy who killed her.
ReplyDeletePolice commander Cláudio de Oliveira is quoted as saying: "There are no words to describe a person like this. He is unprovided for by God and whatever it means to be human."
Well put.
To a person, everyone I have known in my life that has been out of the house at way too young an age or raised by parents who didn't give a shit has gotten f*cked up in terrible ways. Rape, drug addicted, prostituted, crap self esteem ... males and females. No one escaped undamaged and two didn't escape with even their lives.
ReplyDeleteI think there was this attitude that came about during the "Me" generation [aka 1970s] that pretty much made it an acceptable practice for some people to let their kids raise themselves. That continues to this day with parents who respond to their toddlers like they are PhD candidates at Yale .. for f*ck's sake. So .. I blame the parents.
I am sorry but I do not think any kid should be left to fend for his or herself with no adult supervision - parents, guardians, older family members, whomever can step in a give the kid direction. It is a recipe for disaster and for the few who might have made it out unscathed - rest assured you are the exception .. not the rule.
Even at my advanced age .. 20 years removed from the horrifying shit I witnessed .. it still makes my blood boil to think that kids are just being discarded and left on their own. I think there are kids who need support well into their adult years - think Britney if you need an example. So - letting a young girl of 17 move to another country? F*ck NO!!
Agreed, Wil. It takes a village to raise a child, and YOU as parent, have the responsibility of making sure that village is populated with decent people. I am often scorned for being overprotective with my children, which I'm fine with. I will continue to be nosy and involve myself in their affairs for many years. Should they try to jet out of here at 17 for parts unknown with men unknown, they will have one hell of a fight on their hands.
ReplyDelete... so where's *the RACIST REDNECK ernestine* to "comment" on this one? Ya... I thought *so*...
ReplyDelete... just like that 'OTHER' redneck IDIOT Natalie Holloway... this one's just 'an'OTHER' dumba$$ LIBERAL white girl who left her comfy, lily white family and literally "headed off" to the Land o' the Darkies and OFF to her OWN 'GROOM'some dism"Em"berment...
... lifesaving 'CLUE' for *all you pathetic Caucasian LIBS* - STAY IN YOUR OWN F*CKING COUNTRY. If you want "culture"... go BUY SOME YOGURT. Foreign Blacks/Dark Hispanics/Asians/Middle-Easterners can do fine without your MISGUIDED/ego-centric/self-promoting "Em"PERIALISTIC "Em"TERFERENCE.
... 'nuff said from a Proud, Non-Caucasian Conservative American and anti-NWO Registered Political "Em"dependent.