Alanis Kissed A Girl - Didn't Like It - No Cherry Chapstick
See what happens because I don't watch SATC reruns? I didn't know Alanis Morissette was on SATC playing a lesbian and making out with SJP. Learn something new everyday. Alanis said she hated the kiss because SJP didn't do it with any passion or slip her the tongue or anything.
Alanis played a lesbian and SJP played, well the faceless, expressionless, same one dimensional character she always plays and kissed Alanis. Whatever. I think we all could probably agree that kissing SJP is probably not going to be a life changing experience for anyone.
What was actually interesting about the interview Alanis gave where she talked about the kiss was the fact where she has been involved in multiple same sex relationships. Now, by my calculations she has basically gone from one guy to another so these same sex relationships she is referring to, must have been while she was with the other guys. So, Ryan Reynolds? What say you about it? Is Scarlett J giving you the same kind of service?
Maybe that's why Ryan broke it off. Maybe he was tired of the other women being brought in and then making fun of his peen. Now here is some good conspiracy stuff for you. Alanis does love the ladies. She said it so we will go with it. Now, because of various factors, one must think that Ryan was perhaps there when these incidents occurred. Now, who was the first person that Ryan was rumored to be dating when he and Alanis broke up? Remember? Jessica Biel. Just saying.
Weird, I feel like I've seen almost all the SATC episodes, but I have no recollection of any Alanis Morisette. Maybe I blocked it out?
ReplyDeleteOh please, Alanis has got to have better taste than Jessica Biel. Although, she was less of a tranny mess back then...
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when you date Uncle Joey from Full House.
ReplyDeleteThe scene with Alanis and SJP kissing HAD TO BE the way Alanis described it, because Carrie doesn't want to kiss the other girl. It's just part of a party game (I've forgotten the name - "Twist the bottle"?) - and the damn bottle points at her and she has to kiss the girl and leaves right afterwards. Which makes it ridiculous to whine about SJP's kissing skills when not kissing back was part of the acting required from her.
ReplyDeleteI didn't remember it either, Francesa, so I just watched the clip on YouTube. Not to defend SJP (because the thought of kissing EITHER of those two makes me want to retch) but - HELLO! - she was in character as Carrie. It was a game of spin the bottle, and Alanis' spin stopped at Carrie. Since Carrie was not into that, of course her character didn't seem passionate.
ReplyDeleteGross. Now I have the thought of kissing SJP in my head. *** bangs head on wall*** Must. Beat. It. Out. Of. My. Head.
Beat me to it, sauvage...
ReplyDeleteOh yes, the bottle is spinning, not twisting. Thanks! :-)
ReplyDeleteI remember the episode b/c they hyped it on HBO. Anyway, Carrie was only there b/c she was trying to impress a younger guy she was dating. SHe didn't want to seem old so she played along.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I saw Alanis on Howard the other day and she looked pretty. Break ups really agree with her.
is this hinting a reveal???
ReplyDeleteDude, Alanis is so superior to that foundation-wearing himbo. He and ScarJo deserve each other -- each is comprised entirely of ego and artifice. I'll bet every wall in their house is just one gigantic mirror.
ReplyDeleteOKAY. SERIOUSLY, guys. WHAT THE FUCK HAS HAPPENED TO JESSICA BIEL? We've all seen recent photos! HORRIFYING.
Justin seriously does fug the hell out of every woman he dates. Have you seen pictures of Cameron lately? BANGIN'. The end of their relationship was the rebirth of her golden, beachy beauty. When she was with him, she was definitely a pimply, scraggly mess. And now Jessica looks like Sylvia Plath, whereas she USED to look like She-Ra. I mean that as a compliment, by the way. And, I mean, I LOVE Sylvia Plath, but the whole wan and greasy-banged look is just NOT good.
Anyway, I'll bet Alanis cheated on Ryan with some chicks because Ryan is lame. The end.
Damn Ernestine .. too bad I am the wrong sex or I would offer to have your baby! : D - LOL!!! Love the Ryan Scab Jo bit .. LOVE IT!!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes .. I think we have a BI reveal here!!
I'm in an open-book mood tonight...
ReplyDeletein the days when I cared about how a guy kissed, it way "guys," not men.
Now I don't really care how my man kisses. Much more concerned now with the heavy-duty mechanics.
If I did happen to want just kissing it could be with a chick because that's all it CAN be with a chick.
Chicks are a pain and can give up easy when they don't get you off drunk at 3:00am when it was all their idea to start with. Sh*t, even I can't get me off drunk at 3 am!
Been there begrudgingly and it's never any use convincing them it's OK--hoping they just crash after missing the point every time.
Sorry, dedicated gals! I know y'all are skilled but y'all were never the ones hitting on me.
So pretty much this precludes my submitting a reader photo, huh?!
All that said, RyRey has ripped off every Chevy Chase bit ever, but I still love him. Hot, snarky and dorky.
LOLZ@ernestine!
ReplyDeleteThat was awesome, and accurate to boot! I award you 1 (one) Internets!
Serslah, JT has a bad effect on teh ladiez. I wonder how they don't notice this & stay away from his jinxing ass? And I used to lurve Ryan, now...not so much. Meh.
What BL are you referring too? The one that Jessica Biel may be?
ReplyDeleteAwww. Thanks, guys! Ya'll are sweet. I really would like to like ScarJo, since she's awfully pretty in a lippy, fleshy kinda way -- as opposed to a pinched n' scrawny kinda way. I love how pale she is, and how she's not trendy. In her downtime, she often wears the same sorts of ridiculously frumpy outfits I myself favor. Because they're COMFORTABLE. I've never seen her wear fur, either, which I appreciate. And she was in Ghost World, which is one of my most beloved movies of all time.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, she has a mouth, and really dumb fucking words often fall from it. Like turds tumbling into a commode.
"Barack Obama and I are BFFs!" (LIES!)
"Some fellows LIKE me!" (from the cover of Vogue)
"I guess I'll just stand there and ooze sex appeal!" (before she went to hump a bunch of troops or whatever).
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCKITY FUCK UP!!
And Ryan is SO GODDAMN SMARMY, which always turns me off. He'd totally one of those flipped-collar, striped shirt guys who drinks Amstel Light and makes googly "I know you wanna blow me" eyes at every girl he sees in the local Bar/Douchery. He elicits an big ol' eye roll from me. Not this chick, RyRy. Sorry.
Give me some Christian Bale. I like my men tall, brawny, and slightly simmering.