Thursday, June 12, 2008

Neil Diamond Lived The Thug Life


I'm trying to picture in my mind how Neil Diamond would have been a thug running around Brooklyn when he was growing up. Neil told Blender magazine this month that he used to be in a gang and that he and his friends would roam the streets of New York each night looking for people to fight. I just can't picture it. What I do picture is some kind of hybrid mashup of West Side Story and Beat It.

All of the gang members in their matching satin jackets just beating the crap out of each other when all of a sudden the camera focuses on Neil and he starts singing Sweet Caroline. At first everyone keeps punching, but then they just can't stop and they soon join in. For an encore some guy breaks a mop in two, puts the mop on his head and he and Neil waltz around singing You Don't Bring Me Flowers.

When they finish, everyone has tears in their eyes and so the guys decide to have a group hug and talk out their problems.

Actually the way it ended for Neil was he got shot one night directly beneath one of his eyes and so he called it quits. The gun was just a pellet gun but it stung, and he needed a band-aid so that was it for his thug life.

19 comments:

  1. Hands, touching hands, reaching out
    Touching me, touching you...

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  2. Love on the rocks
    Ain't no big surprise
    Just pour me a drink
    And I'll tell you my lies
    Yesterday 's gone
    Now all I want is a smile.....

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  3. Anonymous9:58 AM

    Shoot, he probably beat the living crap out of a whole bunch of people, hospitalizing them for months at a time over at Weenie Hut General.

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  4. LOLLOL this whole story is hilarious, including the resulting comments

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  5. Oh ho-ho-ho-ho-hoooooo that HAIR!!!!

    Sweeeet Caroline
    Biff Bang Bam
    Good times never seemed so goooood.

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  6. That is one yummy picture.

    Don't laugh, but around the casa I sing the hell out of Barbra's part to "You Don't Bring Me Flowers."

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  7. Anonymous10:19 AM

    dang it - now sweet caroline is stuck in my head....every time i hear Neil Diamond i think of the movie Saving Silverman haha i love Steve Zahn

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  8. LOL canada chick, i effing love that movie.

    'Neil! I wanna party with you! I WANNA PARTY WITH YOU!'

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  9. ahhhh Neil's forever in blue jeans...

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  10. He was in a gang in Flatbush--what did they do--throw bagels at each other?

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  11. Anonymous12:56 PM

    That picture of Neil is making sweet sweet love to us all...loved her as none before, loved her with words and more.....

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  12. I think he means EAST flatbush. according to wiki, THAT'S the scary place.

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  13. Neil is a god. Plain and simple. He's a badass. One of my favorite Neil Diamond quotes was circa 1991, Rolling Stone: "I'll be happy when I'm dead."

    Rock on.

    "I am, I said."

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  14. East Flatbush is scary now--back them it was all middle class. Mostly Jewish & Italian. When he was a teen in the 1950's there was nothing scary about living there. It was actually a desirable neighborhood.

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  15. haha, not only that, but his wiki says he was on the high school fencing team! He even got a scholarship from it. LOL that was their signature gangweapon, i bet.

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  16. i think we just found the inspiration for the Jonas' bro stylist.

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  17. Adrian - computer spew!!!

    Jax - the Jonas Bros. style is the work of Gay Disney, and you know that.

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  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  19. gossipmonger--they were a "gang" in a sense that they hung together, but the worst thing that happened was Sylvester Stallone's girlfriend got pregnant, so they had to get married.
    It as a gang as in a group of friends that acted tough, but they were not violent. It as like Jonh Travolta's gang in Saturday Night Fever.

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