Gwyneth Paltrow To Have Sex One More Time
Chris Martin better start hiding now or preparing whichever he prefers, because Gwyneth Paltrow has decided she is going to have sex at least one more time in her life. Gwyneth has decided that she owes it to the world to have more children and so will force herself to get pregnant one more time. For Chris that means you will have to see your wife naked. For that I'm sorry. Perhaps you could write a song about it. I think somewhere in the chorus there should be a reference to a scarecrow. That way you can explore the whole food thing and not eating and the bird that comes to peck, peck, peck the scarecrow until it can't take it anymore.
Where was I ? Obviously with her career not going gangbusters (Iron Man would have made money without her) the surest way to get some more attention is to get knocked up and if she has to pretend to enjoy it, so be it.
"I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it. I do feel we’re so fortunate, and we kind of owe it to humanity."
Actually I think humanity is voting right now and we are waiting for the decision. Oh, there it is. Yes, all of humanity has voted and they are perfectly fine with you not having any more children. In fact, they would applaud you not having more kids. If humanity needs a couple more, they will just call over to your ex's house because they would do anything for humanity including having a couple more.
So, Gwyneth, what we need from you right now is less talking in public because you reflect poorly on the world when you speak. I'm trying to remember the last time you gave an interview and didn't offend anyone. Can't think of a time. So head on back to the UK and your attention grabbing photos with Madonna and your "marriage" and come out every few years so we can make fun of you and how you look. Other than that, I'm good with not seeing you.
"I may force myself to do it one more time because the result is so worth it. I do feel we’re so fortunate, and we kind of owe it to humanity."
Actually I think humanity is voting right now and we are waiting for the decision. Oh, there it is. Yes, all of humanity has voted and they are perfectly fine with you not having any more children. In fact, they would applaud you not having more kids. If humanity needs a couple more, they will just call over to your ex's house because they would do anything for humanity including having a couple more.
So, Gwyneth, what we need from you right now is less talking in public because you reflect poorly on the world when you speak. I'm trying to remember the last time you gave an interview and didn't offend anyone. Can't think of a time. So head on back to the UK and your attention grabbing photos with Madonna and your "marriage" and come out every few years so we can make fun of you and how you look. Other than that, I'm good with not seeing you.
"We owe it to humanity"? Seriously? Ugh. I fucking hate her. Queen Jackass.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah--and I'd like to take one of those ridiculous shoes she's wearing (did she borrow those from Mary-Kate?) and beat her senseless with it.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, I should never read about Gwyneth Paltrow before I've had my morning coffee.
For crying out loud...stop picking on this woman. There are so many idiots out there to berate and yet you continually throw out sophomoric insults at someone who has proven she can act time and time again. What did she do to draw such hatred? I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteFor the record, I'm okay with bashing Paris, Tom, Kanye, Lindsay, that Simpson who just got married, Sharon and a few others. I just don't get the hate for Gwyneth.
G may be elitist & condecending, but she normally minds her own business and plays the game well. I don't mind her at all, actually, I kind of like her snotty comments. They're fun to read.
ReplyDeleteI always feel so inadequate after reading one of her interviews.
ReplyDeleteDidn't HRH Gwynnie have post-partum depression? If she hatches one more, Chris had better hide the good steak knives.
The hatred for Gwynie comes from her being such an American-hating, PSEUDO-British, self-important, arrogant, pompous ass. Somone help me out if I missed any adjectives there.
ReplyDelete"We owe it to humanity" indeed. Honey, get over yourself and keep your legs closed. We don't feel that you owe us THAT. ANYWAY, there is a world overpopulation problem in case you forgot you arrogant twit.
I don't even like her but this quote is taken out of context, the part that says "I do feel we're so fortunate, and we kind of owe it to humanity" was in response to the option of adopting.
ReplyDeleteThe real problem is that we pay any attention at all to this.
ReplyDeleteAnd if that quote is attributed to an adoption thing, please - NOT another celeb thinking they owe humanity by adopting. Can't think of a worse reason to do it. Kind of smacks in the face of the all the rest who adopt because they truly love children and want them desperately and cannot have via the old-fashioned way.
Oh G - you do so well at times in keeping a low profile, please keep doing it. I kind of have to admit I'm with kat and kara on this one - I don't really get the hatred and enjoy some of her snotty comments. But Queenie needs to keep quiet at times...
ReplyDeleteFine with me... as long as she names it something like Cucumber or Paprika.
ReplyDeletelong time skulker, but i had to lodge my comment about this story...
ReplyDeleteif anyone (and i'm so disappointed in ent here) had bothered to read the article in harper's bazaar you would have read this:
"Gwyneth admits she had a hard time with both her pregnancies ("My mother loved each one to bits; she felt alive and beautiful. I wanted to throw up all the time") — so hard, in fact, she has declared she is unlikely to ever get pregnant again. "I may force myself to do it one more time," she admits today, "because the result is so worth it. And also my dad said to me that his only regret in life was that he had only two children and he didn't have more." On the possibility of adopting a child, she adds, "I'm very open to it. And I do feel we're so fortunate, and we kind of owe it to humanity. We have a lot of love to give and a lot of resources."
interesting how even ent will spin things when he wants to make someone look bad...i'm not a huge fan of hers, but i was going to post something about this on my blog because it was so infuriating and decided to actually read the article so as not to make a fool of myself...hmmm, wonder why ent didn't include the name of the publication he was "quoting" from?
bh040704, thanks for the exact quote. i hate when things are printed out of context. anyone can prove or disprove anything if they don't care about being truthful. gwyneth is a great actress and probably a good mother. how could you hate someone that you probably haven't even met?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think it was possible to hate this cunt any more than I already did!
ReplyDeleteWow...our most cynical politicians could take lessons from Ent on how to diabolically twist and edit someone's actual quote. Kudos, Ent. How Rovian!
ReplyDeleteIf humanity needs children i think Brangelina can take care of it. I can't stand Gwyneth Paltrow why did Chris have to marry such a douche!
ReplyDeleteI think the prospect of seeing Chris Martin naked is a lot scarier than Miz Gwyneth. He just annoys the shit out of me, he is so fucking pretentious with that "I could rule the world" shitty song they are pimping on the iTunes commercials. I enjoy GP's acting, and she really doesn't bother me at all.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU, notachance. I am trying to adopt because I cannot have children and it is more difficult than people think. I have been waiting two years, probably because people who think they "owe it to humanity" are mucking up the process!
ReplyDeleteI'm no Gwyneth fan, but I saw her a few years ago (post Apple, pre-Moses pregnancy). Weight-wise, she was very normal looking, definitely not skinny. Maybe she was adding some pounds while trying to get pregnant, but I was surprised and a little happy to see it.
ReplyDeleteHer hair, on the other hand, looked terrible. It was a weird butter yellow color that you never see in nature with poorly maintained extensions. Maybe it photographs differently.