You Think Victoria Beckham Is An Alien? I'll Show You An Alien

I don't know what it is with this Princess Letizia from Spain and my obsession. I honestly want to know what the hell kind of torture she faced while she was growing up that she always looks like this. She moves so stiffly that if she had less hair and talked about global warming incessantly I would think it was Al Gore in drag.

Seriously, did her parents beat her when she didn't look like a robot? Get sent to bed without dinner? Time outs? What caused this? She's always like this. Look at the first photo and tell me there isn't a crapload of tension in her? She is in desperate need of a Vicodin. I'm surprised her thumb isn't bruised. Look at the last photo in the sequence when she moves her fingers. It is almost like an explosion because there was no other movement. I know you guys probably don't care about her or her husband, but she is really starting to freak me out.