Guess What? What? Your Sister Hates You

US Weekly no doubt took perverse glory in letting Jessica Alba's brother know that Jessica had just gotten married. Apparently in Jessica's family, the nice guys like Josh Alba are routinely ignored and left out of all life decisions. Look, I know you wanted to keep the damn thing quiet and you didn't have to invite anyone except the two witnesses who probably were laughing so hard that tears were running down their faces, but don't you think you could at least call your brother and tell him you are married.

I realize that Josh is a nice guy and really genuine so that may be a foreign concept to you, but it is really an ass move to have a tabloid break the news to him instead of you. Oh, I'm sure you were too busy with things like counting your awards for acting and reading all your positive reviews, but next time, show that you are part human and give Josh a break. Yes, I know he actually looks like he might be Hispanic so you pretend you don't know him, but not calling to say you are married is just totally without class. On the other hand so is Cash, so it all works out in the end.

For Josh's part, he was, as always the nice guy. When asked by US, whether Cash would make a good husband, Josh replied, "Well, he's my brother in law now!" That's my Josh. Takes the high road because the d**k is now family.