Pimpa Turned Jessica Into A Bit Of A Freak

Lost in all the shuffle yesterday of Perez Hilton outing John Mayer was the little throwaway line that said while the two made out, Jessica Simpson spent the entire time rubbing John Mayer's crotch. I always thought Ashlee was the freaky sister. I mean being with Pete Wentz you have to know that at some point, freaky s**t is going to happen. Whether it be animals or little people or unique uses for velcro, things are going to happen.

But apparently Pimpa must have taught both his little girls that it is ok to be freaky. I think we are all in agreement that Jessica was never freaky with Nick which is why he found the freakiest person he could. Anyone who saw Newlyweds and realized that Nick had to beg for a month and spend a couple of thousand to get anything other than missionary once a week from Jessica knows someone else brought the freak out of her.

So who was it? Dane Cook? He isn't funny but he looks like he could be a freak. Bam Margera? Another person who likes to play both sides of the ball so maybe. Maybe she was pulling trains on Dukes Of Hazzard, or Pimpa had a talk with her. Who knows. I do know one thing though. Tony Romo must have told everyone in the locker room. Remember how all the players thought she was a jinx, and then Tony had a talk with them and they all changed their stories immediately. Yep, obviously they all think they have a chance now.

I could just be seeing too much into this. She could have just been drunk as crap and didn't know her boyfriend was making out with Perez and just was doing what Daddy told her to do.