If The Baby Looks Like 50 Cent, We Will Blame You

By now I'm sure you have heard about the Alba baby shower and how all the guests were given bracelets, sat in a corner and sang Kumbaya. They were then told that in no uncertain terms could they take off the bracelets they had just been given.

Doesn't matter if you are getting married or if you are a surgeon or in a film, you can't take them off. Why? This is what I can't quite figure out. Right now I'm torn between Cash Warren's latest get rich quick scheme where he plans to sell a million of the little bracelets and not have to worry about donating the money to any of those pesky charities that usually are associated with popular color bracelets. I would say I am actually really headed that way. Lets face it. We know Cash is a money grubbing ass who has basically Heather Milled himself into something. Unfortunately for him, Jessica doesn't make as much as a Beatle. Hell, she doesn't make as much as Britney, so Cash has to find new ways to keep himself rich without sharing. Oh, he makes her share, but he ain't sharing.

My other guess which is much more gruesome is that if somehow the baby is born with some type of problem, such as looks nothing like Cash, or has ADD or something, then Cash and Jessica can hunt down whoever took off their bracelet and blame them for their child's misery. Then that person of course will be considered a pariah. It is kind of like the old preacher trick where if someone can't get up, it is not the preacher's fault, it is the fact the injured person didn't have enough faith. In this instance it isn't because Cash is some kind of freak that the baby turned out the way it did, it is because someone took off their bracelet.