Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Elisha Cuthbert Isn't Into Sex At The Movies


You know what I hate? I hate celebrities who moan and complain that no one will go out with them, and no one asks them out, and they just don't know why. Well, I will tell you the reason Elisha Cuthbert doesn't get dates. She's a little rude and demanding. Now, I know, I know, but don't you think the demanding part could wait until after a few dates when you totally have us whipped. The first few dates you are supposed to suck us into the trap, and then when you have us hooked, then and only then can you send us on our way to misery.

Looking back at that last paragraph, you would think I'm bitter after six failed marriages. I'm not actually and would do it again. I don't know if I could afford another divorce though so this one would have to last.

In a recent interview, Elisha Cuthbert is a one dater. I hate those kind of people because they are always looking for the reason to keep it as one and done. The best thing to do with those people is just not go out with them. Apparently Elisha has been such a warm and inviting and welcoming date that more than one guy has fallen asleep at the movies with her on the first date. They don't get a second chance. What kinds of movies are they going to? Is she forcing them to go to a six hour documentary on Hungarian Cabinet Makers. Big bonus points if you know where that comes from.

Elisha could solve this sleeping at the movies problem by, you know, keeping a guy's attention. You know what I mean. Tease us with the popcorn and Goobers and we will stay awake. Elisha is all opposed to any guy who tries to hit on her while she is driving. How exactly would that work? Is Elisha that hot that guys are running up to her at each stoplight trying to get a date with her? That just sounds arrogant to me. Actually to spend an entire interview saying what she dislikes about guys tells me exactly why she was dating Dax.

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