Positive Energy Makes You Pregnant
Here I thought a sperm and egg needed to get it on so someone could get pregnant. Turns out it is actually positive energy that does it. If you think it sounds like something a Scientologist would say, give yourself some kibble because you are correct.
Now Magazine is reporting that Katie Holmes wants to try invitro to have another baby. She wants Suri to have some friends. It must be kind of tough when you only get to see other kids when cameras are around and daddy is using you for publicity.
Katie is really concerned that Tom hasn't managed to knock her up again. Well, it is pretty tough when his bedroom is on another floor. People don't have sex when they share the same bed. How often do you think a couple would have sex if they had to go to a different floor or decide which bed to use, or make the trek back to their own bed after it was over. Hell, there would not be a population in the world but porn sales would go through the roof.
Tom says that invitro goes against the teachings of the Church. Well, since he is second in command I'm thinking he could go ahead and have a vision or fart or something and get that changed. A source says, "Tom keeps telling her to focus on Scientology methods of creating “positive energy” to become pregnant, which he's convinced worked the first time around, but Katie's losing patience."
I guess he means something like "I'm positive we are out of L Ron's sperm, so this isn't going to happen."
... "I'm thinking he could go ahead and have a vision or fart or something and get that changed..."
ReplyDeleteLMAO!!!!
Or she could have a nooner with Chris Klein or Jost Hartnett or whoever it was in London that knocked her up the first time.....
ReplyDeleteGays are probably against the Shit of Scientology, too, but that doesn't seem to stop some of them.
ReplyDeleteHow fitting, given my avatar.
lol ts.
ReplyDeleteGotta wonder if Katie wants a new toy for Suri or for herself. Posh probably isn't much for talking. Jada just wants to get in Katie's pants, so she really has no friends.
aww EL's first fart joke.
ReplyDeletesingle tear...
Why they need another brat anyway? they're only going to ship it away to Cult Classes the second they are old enough like Suri, the other Cruise kids and Kirtstie Allie's kids too.
or pretend they practically don't exist like John travolta if they are less than perfect lil aliens.
YOu have to be generally healthy & well-fed to get knocked up. Scientology's "methods" drain the ever-lovin' shit out of you. So, even if she had access to some super sperm, it might be hard for her to get preggo with all the Purifs she's been doing.
ReplyDeleteJust a month or two ago stories were that Tom and/or Scientology wanted Katie to get pregnant but she was too busy training for her marathon. So which story is correct?
ReplyDeleteMaybe both are false stories just to keep the rumor mill stirred up.
Why is he always CLUTCHING her?
ReplyDeleteSyko, so she doesn't escape.
ReplyDeleteEnty you are particularly snarky today. Loves it!
ReplyDeleteLong time lurker piping in...
ReplyDeleteI think it's just a ploy to get them having "difficulities in the marriage.." then it'll all fake "blow up" and she can fulfill her contract and go on with her life.
Just my opinion...
"Positive energy." Yeah, that's how women become p.g. That'll take care of all the problems... along with the requisite relaxing, doing it right, doing it more, doing it less, eating more beets, eating less beets, etc. People are so f***ing stupid.
ReplyDeleteGrace said...
ReplyDeleteMaybe both are false stories just to keep the rumor mill stirred up.
12:19 PM
That's what 99% of these stories ARE. 1% = true, 99% = what the publicists send out to stir up publicity. It's no big secret.
I'm sending you positive energy Ent. You should be pregnant by Friday.
ReplyDeleteAmber, the energy waves missed EL and hit April. Be careful next time...lol.
ReplyDeleteI had a dream the other night that I snuck into a Scieno compound where all the celebrities were living. I tried to get Katie to leave with her kid, but Martha Stewart stopped us by saying a really guilt-laden prayer during the Thanksgiving dinner. Then as I was leaving (I snuck out through a hidden panel in Val Kilmer's bedroom), I passed Tom Cruise and he gave me the dirtiest look.
ReplyDeleteFuck I need to lay off the crack before bed.
What is the Church of Scientology's official position on turkey basters?
ReplyDeleteThat last line was pure gold. I just discovered this site & I have never been happier to add another blog to check to my daily routine. the snark is delicious!
ReplyDelete