I'll Take The Harry Caray Glasses
Each year my glasses get thicker and thicker. They are not quite to the Harry Caray level yet, but they are getting there. Oh, I could probably correct my vision with some laser surgery, but I am scared out of my mind that the doctor will sneeze or that he will be pissed because his wife just found out he was cheating with the 18 year old receptionist and that I will go blind. I could probably handle being deaf, but I don't ever want to be blind.
There are a bunch of rumors floating around the internet that Jermaine Dupri went in for some laser eye surgery last week and there were some kind of complications and now he is practically blind. Dupri canceled a lecture last week after the surgery. One spokesperson for Dupri said that he is not suffering major problems from his sight while another spokesperson said the claims are not true. Unfortunately, the person who did the asking used the first spokesperson quote and so no one knows if the reports of him not suffering major problems is untrue or the fact that he is virtually blind are untrue.
Either way, and I hope he is fine, there were some complications from the surgery and that would be my worst nightmare. Go in and you are fine and perfectly happy seeing out of your coke bottle glasses. Some coupon comes in the mail for a do one eye, get one free which you combine with that KFC coupon you have been saving forever and some Pepsi bottle caps and the next thing you know your eye is on fire because the guy who was doing the surgery didn't pay his electric bill and so the machine shut off halfway through.
With glasses you never have to worry about that problem, and if they break you get a new pair. Of course if you get the heavy, thick black, plastic frames they are always in style and never break. Just keep getting those lenses thicker and thicker.
2 words EL.
ReplyDeleteHigh index. they make that shit super thin. thank god or i would have ahuge dent in the bridge of my nose..and no one wants Ashlee Simpson nose..not even Ashlee!
ps sorry for extra post.. my bff had laser and it took a month to recover. she had to wear giant blue blocker type glasses and couldn't work,read,watch tv or drive. poor thing sat at home doing squat bored to tears. it happens a lot apparently, the doc doesn't have a clue really until he gets in there as to the outcome.
ReplyDeleteresearch first!
I have a friend who suffered a botched Lasik procedure. She had the same situation as Jax's bff above. Eventually, she went to a different doctor, had more surgery, and she's okay now, but she came out of the experiencing not recommending Lasik.
ReplyDeleteI know it happens rarely, but she was one of the first people I know to have Lasik, and I just can't get past her story to make myself go do it.
Enty, are you sure you're a candidate for lasik? If your condition is presbyopia (age-related), then you are not, and currently there is no surgery to help this condition.
ReplyDeletemy dad was one of the first people in california to have the first version of these surgeries done. got a big spread (surgery pics and all) in the san pedro pilot. was done by scalpel, not laser, and one eye at a time, 3 months apart. i remember him putting together my son's crib (son now 27) and covering the bad eye and counting nail holes across the room. terribly exciting (now you guys know where i get my weirdness)!! he wound up being 20/30 after a lifetime of horrible vision, and still only wears glasses to read.
ReplyDeletei went off topic there, didn't i?
Just had laser PRK in October, and I can't recommend it enough. There are more good stories out there than bad ones, and there's always a risk with anything you do, but boy, am I glad I did it. No Ashlee bump for me ever again - so worth it!
ReplyDeleteEnt, you are hysterical. I just got busted giggling & snorting Dr Pepper across my keyboard instead of catching up on work I'm supposed to be doing. Good stuff.
ReplyDeletequestion: who would want Jermaine Dupri to lecture at their fine institution?
ReplyDeleteI was extremely near-sighted (20/1500 not kidding) (high index, my ass, my glasses were still very thick, wore contacts anyway so that was really no big deal) I had lasik done in October (at the Berkeley Eye Center in Houston), as a gift from my parents for my graduating law school (which I had done the year before).
ReplyDeleteI ended up w/ corneal abrasions on both eyes, from my eyes not healing properly once they closed the flaps. Apparently not an uncommon occurance, but not an extremely common one. Basically I had severe dry-eye, had to put drops in my eyes every few minutes, vision was blurry or cloudy when it was really bad.
They put me on Restasis, and I started taking Flaxseed oil after researching on my own about chronic dry-eye. Restasis takes a while to work, but as soon as I started on the Flaxseed oil, I noticed a HUGE difference.
Now, I barely use drops & the abrasions are slowly healing. I'm not 20/20 yet, more like 20/30 & 20/35, but compared w/ 20/1500 (legally blind), I'm happy.
My point is, there are risks in any surgery/procedure, & for me, even w/ the misery of the corneal abrasions, I would do it again. Now, had there been no improvement in the dry-eye (which is absolutely fu*$ing miserable), I may have had a different opinion.