Heather Mills Is The Crazy Aunt Followed By The CIA

Before I start talking about Heather Mills and how she is the craziest loon this side of someone who has been anally probed by aliens, I wanted to know if anyone saw that new show on BBC about living in a dump. I just saw the previews this weekend but didn't watch it and am wondering if it was worth it. It sounded like it had a great premise but am wondering if they overdid the green thing or not.

ITV is going to air a documentary called McCartney v McCartney and while filming it they kept discovering just how much of a whack job Heather Mills is, and how you really can't believe even one word that comes out of her mouth. I wonder if that was something she was born with or whether she just did so much pretending when she was being a hooker that she lost any sense of reality.

Anyway, two of the funnier examples of her whacked outedness include the fact that she claims that back in 2001 Mills reportedly told Sunday Times journalist Jasper Gerard that the former Prime Minister and a Lord Macdonald had promised to make her Baroness Mills, prior to her marriage to Sir Paul McCartney.

She claimed that she had been asked to sit in the House of Lords but was undecided about whether to accept the honor. However, three Lord Macdonalds tracked down by ITV denied ever meeting the former model.

Gerard said: "I was pretty gobsmacked that somebody who was essentially just a model and a bit of a part-time campaigner, best known for being Paul McCartney's girlfriend, should be offered a peerage.

"Heather also told me she had cancelled a meeting with Bill Clinton in case her endorsement affected a US election outcome. I kept waiting for her to smile and say 'I'm joking', but she meant it."

Is she that delusional? These are only the things we are hearing about in public. Can you imagine what she must be like on a daily basis? Can you imagine what Beatrice is going to turn out to be? I am actually a little scared for that child. Look, I am not a big fan of Paul McCartney, and I thought he was a smart guy, but he must have been just following his d**k or something to be completely blind to how off her rocker this chick is.

I mean I know she must have kept her game face on, but she obviously let the Baroness thing slip before she got married and you know she must have told someone sometime about aliens kidnapping her or MI5 implanting a chip in her arm, or the fact that she was being followed by old customers who wanted their money back because she wasn't that good. OK, maybe that one isn't so crazy, but the rest is.

I actually do hope she wins her appeal now. I want to see what she prattled on about during the trial.