Fake Tans And Leggings Are The Secret To Success
So I just read like the millionth article about Lindsay Lohan not having any money and at this point I have no doubts she is running out of money, simply because there is no income coming into the bank. What none of the articles ever say is how much is left. Obviously you are "running" out of money if you are spending more than you take in.
There are two actual quotes in the recent article though which explains a great deal about Ms. Lohan. The first is that she spent $70,000 in the past six months on fake tans. $70,000 is more than most people in the world make in a year and she spent it on something that makes her look like a circus clown. The only difference is that people generally pay to get into the circus.
Since no one wants to actually give her a job acting, how does Lindsay plan on making money? Leggings. Yep. She wants to conquer the world leggings market. "It will be a while before it comes out, but I'm going to do it. Some of them will have prints and some will have patterns. I just love leggings."
I want to see Lindsay film an infomercial selling her leggings. "Ladies, are you tired of wearing pants? Do you want to show the world how big your ass truly is? Then my leggings are for you."
"If you order now, I will throw in a bottle of specially formulated self tanner."
somewhere out there George Hamilton just called his agent.
ReplyDeleteHow do you spend 70K on sunless tanner? Mystic Tan is only like $75-$100 a session. That's like 900 sprays.
ReplyDeleteThat's enough for one spray session every day for 2 1/2 years. My tiny little brain simply cannot grasp.
have you seen Dina???
ReplyDeleteAn interesting new twist for the Lohan(tm) brand.
ReplyDeleteAlso: I assume these are crotchless.
ReplyDeleteI'll pick these up @ nordstrom's rack with one of rihanna's umbrellas.
ReplyDeletemarnie - how about a bright red crotch zipper?
ReplyDeletelindsay - if you use my idea, i want my cut of the profits.
ReplyDeletejax/mandy: I think both your comments fill the hole here. Lindsay's obviously paying for her family to spray tan as well (since none of them have any money coming in outside of her).
ReplyDeleteCheetos girl looks worse every time we see her.
ReplyDeleteHey, is this the answer to a blind?
Oh, Lindsay. How cute of you, assuming that leggings will still be in style by the time your line comes out.
ReplyDeleteLMAO @ jax and marnie!
ReplyDeleteInfomercials are totally Lilo's future. She's the next QVC Queen. (Is QVC still around? If not, she'll bring it back!)
LOL, p m!
ReplyDeleteThis is a fashion trend I'll be skipping. Not that I didn't participate in it 15-20 years ago. I was younger and, clearly, dumber then. ;)
LOL, p m!
ReplyDeleteThis is a fashion trend I'll be skipping. Not that I didn't participate in it 15-20 years ago. I was younger and, clearly, dumber then. ;)
gawd, jax, you're killing me today!
ReplyDeleteWell good luck with that girl.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed that in North America leggings are seen as a trend, but in Paris it's a staple. There's no end in sight!
That photo of Leighten M is pretty fabulous.
ReplyDeleteI suspect Lohan only needs one credible role to restore her career. Seriously - the cat has nine lives. Somehow she is in the Hollywood collective conscious as the party girl who really can act if she would just get it together. That may or may not be true - but she has that chip left.
i think i might smell "pop fiction" at work here...but i could be wrong
ReplyDeleteLindsay needs to lose the fake tan. I can't imagine paying $70K let alone $70 to get something applied to me that makes me look like a roast chicken. (ie. greasy and brown.) It also ages you faster, which is especially not a good thing when you have ingested as many varied substances as Ms. Lohan.
ReplyDeleteShe looks infinitely better without it.