Converting The Strippers One Lap Dance At A Time

I guess Michael Lohan is taking this ministry thing seriously. For his latest crusade he and two guy friends went to Rick's Cabaret in New York to convert strippers. So when I read that last sentence I think of Michael and his two friends outside the club, standing on a soapbox, railing against the imagined sins of the dancers, and how their evil customers should be living a more wholesome life.

Well apparently when you get ordained from some place off the internet, they teach you a different way to convert people. According to the National Enquirer, what Michael and his friends did was to go ahead and spend a few hours inside the strip club. While Michael handed over a huge wad of Lindsay's hard earned cash to his friends so they could have lap dance after lap dance, Michael spent about an hour just talking to a dancer. He apparently never tipped her and never asked for a dance because he is a cheap bastard and was probably trying to get her to go home with him so he could get some for free. I really don't know if she did, but if she has the brains of anything larger than Paris Hilton than she probably went home straight after work and read all the bible verses that Michael was whispering in her ear.

Michael didn't drink, and he didn't get any lap dances from anyone. He did keep a very close eye on the lap dances his two friends were receiving and also managed to sneak a few peeks up on the stage because he is interested in putting a stripper pole in his house for Lindsay. What dad wouldn't want something like that for his daughter? OK. I know the answer is most, and I doubt that Michael is going to install one in his house. I mean what would be the point. You just know that Dina already has one at her house.