What's The Mortgage On An $80M House?

I have to get a new job. Somehow Simon Cowell has managed to buy himself an $80M house. I don't care how much you are worth that is a lot of money to spend on a place you will never be more than half the year. The house, in West London is a Grade II listed house whatever the hell that means. Perhaps someone in London could answer that question for me. The neighborhood in West London is called Holland Park and the house contains an underground extension which is perfect for torturing Ryan or Paula, and a swimming pool, spa, a large kitchen and a car park.

I don't mean to sound snotty, but don't you think you would expect a little more for $80M? I mean, the underground torture room is nice and all, but what about the extras? Solid gold ceilings? Complimentary happy endings for a year? I mean, I expect a little something for my monthly payment of $500,000.

An even bigger question is just how much is Simon making, and how much is he worth? Wiki says he is worth about $200M. So that means he is spending about half his worth on a house. Well you know he would never give it away or donate it to charity so I guess if you are looking at ways to spend lots of money on yourself a big $80M house would do it.