Monday, February 11, 2008

If You Don't Want To Read About Amputations And Orgasms Stop Now


Well if you are reading this I know you are all some sick bastards and I love you. Plus, I promise it's gossip so you don't have to feel ashamed at all. I confess that as I was growing up I would stumble upon that sex column in Cosmo and some other magazines as well while, I was, looking at the pages with other activities in mind. I also have read more Penthouse Forum than anyone non-fictional than I know. It is possible that John Candy's character in Splash may have read more. It is debatable.

In all of that reading and every article I have ever seen about fetishes, I have never seen or heard about anyone who would orgasm when you rubbed their amputated limb. Until now. Of course it had to be that porn star/hooker Heather Mills who has this honor. In a story run by News Of The World it is almost an aside to the main part of the story that says that heather Mills cheated on Paul for a good portion of their relationship with some guy she had been seeing for love until she stumbled upon a Beatle for money.

She was dating some guy named Tim Steel (has to be porn star name) and he says that Heather, was "insatiable" in the bedroom and laughed about being "pursued" by Paul while romancing Tim Steel in 1999.

Steel, who had allegedly been sleeping with Heather for three years when she met Paul, said: "Heather was insatiable, she demanded sex six times a night. I'd come home to find her waiting naked in bed. She had a hoard of vibrators for when she was home alone. Her favourite was a huge back massager that she plugged into the mains. (For those of you in the UK, are the mains referring to the electrical outlet or some other hole? Either way makes the story interesting, so this is simply out of curiosity that I want to know.)

"She would laugh and say, 'I'm being pursued by a Beatle!' She even showed me text messages from Paul. She was up for it anywhere. Once she pleasured me under my desk while I was at work."

Here is the payoff. Street also revealed Heather, who lost her left leg below the knee in a motorbike accident in 1993, would thrash around the bed in pleasure when he massaged her amputated limb.

He said: "Heather has a very unusual erogenous zone - her stump. I used to massage one particular area and it gave her orgasm after orgasm."

32 comments:

  1. Anonymous10:39 AM

    she needs to go the hell away ASAP

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  2. I can't decide whether I'm fascinated or completely grossed out.

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  3. Anonymous10:43 AM

    Thanks ENT. Now I'm going to need at least 5 psychotherapy sessions to get over this.

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  4. ummm yah i was eating when i read that.....not cool ENT not cool

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  5. Anonymous10:47 AM

    Well, he did warn us canadachick *rolls eyes*

    That whole story made my skin crawl.

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  6. I'm calling shenanigans on this one. I don't doubt she cheated on him, but her stump as an erogenous zone? I say bullshit.

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  7. Kinda makes sense. Wouldn't all the nerve endings be there? But she sounds like a sex addict, doesn't she? That was all over Discovery channel.

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  8. Next thing we'll hear is how she's got a foot fetish! Ha!

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  9. Funny that the News of the Screws waited 9 years to unearth this chap. Wonder how much they paid for his 'story'?

    I've heard of amputtee porn, but never an erogenous zone just below the knee. Still, dif'rent strokes...

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  10. I just threw up a little in my mouth.

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  11. I just wish their divorce hearings were being broadcast on Court TV. I mean, she's representing herself for goodness sake; it's going to be the funniest show this year! I hope some of it leaks soon.

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  12. She's representing herself in her divorce precedings??? LOL, I hope she ends up with what she came into the marriage with. I've read somewhere (can't remember) that Beatrice supposedly isn't even Pauls! Would kind of support the cheating accusations. Oh, the drama...

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  13. o k.
    Interesting timing on this. The guy keeps this story locked up for years? I think we all know she's a git and a gold-digger. But what a story...

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  14. This is the funniest thing I've read all day. Next amputee I see, I'm rubbing his/her stump and seeing what happens.

    If it's like the classic scene from When Harry Met Sally I'll report back.......

    ;-)

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  15. loves it, so naughty!

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  16. well, you know what they say about amputees and phantom pain - maybe there's pleasure (pain) in there somewhere. But again, it's News of the World, so who the hell knows.

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  17. Ent - 'the mains' does refer to an electrical outlet.

    What's that old saying that a person who represents themselves in court has a fool for a client?
    Just how arrogant IS this woman?

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  18. Tania, maybe she's too damn cheap to pay a barrister.

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  19. Anonymous1:07 PM

    thought the same thing Twisted. To cheap

    But again she also gives vibes of a whore so what does one expect from a person like that.

    I am not saying that Paul is innocent in all this especially if he is putting a clause about not talking about their marriage. Makes you think what else he did to her.

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  20. Twisted, you may be right!
    But it's a false economy - if she comes over in court the way she did in that crocodile tears tv interview, she's going to be in the shit.
    A good lawyer would be smart and realise that Heather strengths lie in keeping her legs open and her mouth closed, not the other way around, and would keep her off the stand as much as possible... ;-)

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  21. Anonymous1:28 PM

    Most of the amputee sex fetish stuff is from people who pursue the amputees for contact with the stumps. (Rubbing the stump against non-amputee erogenous zones.) Thank you wikipedia.

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  22. paul - what the the hell were you thinkin'? i still can't get over no pre-nup. wtf?

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  23. Captiva - and every other non-Brit!

    There is no such thing as a pre-nup in British law. Sometimes, marrying couples make an agreement between themselves, but the courts can and do ignore it in making a divorce settlement. Assets are divided according to matrimonial property law.

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  24. oh sweet jesus......i spit wine out of my nose and now my nasal canals are on FIRE!!!!! ent...you ruined my evening!

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  25. Thanks, Ms. Wonderland. Didn't know.
    This makes me sick.

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  26. hasn't she been representing herself for ages? i seem to recall reading that a looong time ago because she was "broke".

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  27. from Rehana...

    I'm calling shenanigans on this one. I don't doubt she cheated on him, but her stump as an erogenous zone? I say bullshit.

    I'm calling bullshit too but for a different reason. I'm a professional massage therapist who has massaged that very stump. No orgasms, no screaming, no moaning, no nothing. In fact, she was friendly, funny and completely without airs. I only spent an hour with her but the woman I saw was not the woman we read about.

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  28. Sadly, I think the whole Beatle Mania spans across the millenia - there are legions of people who believe Paul is a Saint who could not possibly do wrong. Heather is at her wits end at the constant hammering she has received in the media court - I can totally see Paul being an ASSHOLE - not sure why he's above reproach for his actions. People are sheep - cannot think for themselves. There are two sides to every story. He just seems so silent & evil - and that daughter Stella is a nightmare.

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  29. omg, deity2, me too! I gagged my chardonnay right up into my nose....

    This woman is such an unbelievable skank, ENT, I can't believe this post!!

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  30. that's just wrong....

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