I Never Believed It
Back when the National Enquirer was still doing Elvis is living in a basement in Wyoming stories no one really believed anything they were saying which is why they still have that undeserved reputation today. Anyway, back in the day they were saying that Valerie Bertinelli and Steven Spielberg were about to get married and it was true love and a bunch of other things. Meanwhile I'm thinking to myself this hot chick from One Day At A Time is going to marry the crazy guy in glasses who directed Jaws? I have to get into the entertainment business. I didn't necessarily believe it, but at an Oprah taping yesterday Valerie confirmed it. Although it hurt inside a little when she got with Eddie Van Halen at least I could understand it. Yes, Eddie is ugly, but he is also a rock star and so different rules apply. See Axl Rose and Ric Okasek.
But Steven Spielberg? Come on. And it looks like Valerie was giving it up which makes it worse. Steven Spielberg got some from Valerie, and it didn't take him long either.
"I went up to read for Raiders of the Lost Ark which I was so wrong for," Bertinelli says. "And the next day I got a call and some flowers ... [Spielberg] asked me out. We went out a few times ... And did more." She met his mother and everything. They eventually broke up because he didn't like garlic, and because she didn't want to seem completely callous, she also said that she knew he wanted to marry someone Jewish. Whatever she says about religion, it was the garlic. Apparently Valerie likes her garlic and Steven doesn't.
In her book she also talks about cheating on Eddie. He has her convinced that she cheated first. I find that very hard to believe. Very hard to believe. Unless she cheated almost right after they got married, then I don't know about that. Plus, I guarantee he cheated way more than she did, yet somehow she is the one feeling guilty.
Video courtesy of Harpo Productions. (I know I know, but to get you things that are interesting even I will suck up now and then. Believe me. I am crying on the inside)
