Cousin Eddie Really Is Crazy

I'm guessing that maybe Randy Quaid does have a plastic plate in his head, much like his character in the Vacation movies. What I am about to tell you is extraordinary because it almost never happens. Randy Quaid was kicked out of the Actor's Equity Union for life. Now, this isn't SAG, but it is pretty big. Do you know how bad you have to f**k up to be kicked out? And then to take it a step further, to be kicked out for life. Here is what happened.

Lone Star Love was a Broadway bound show having its test runs in Seattle to make sure it really was Broadway worthy. Cry Baby will be doing the same thing later this year in La Jolla, CA by the way. Johnny Depp will be showing up a few times to watch in case you want to get close and rub his head or something else for luck.

Anyway during the show's Seattle run, here is what happened as reported by the NY Post.

• Quaid hit an actor on the back of the head four times during performances. When the stage manager told him to stop, he smacked the actor again.
• Another actor was warned that if he made direct eye contact with Quaid onstage, he'd be fired.
• Quaid made "sexually inappropriate" comments onstage, repeatedly referring to an actress' musical instruments as her "gynecological instruments."
• The couple tried to rewrite the script, to eliminate characters.
• Randy "felt free" to change blocking, lyrics and lines during performances, and repeatedly failed to show up for note sessions and rehearsals.

Now, the couple that is referred to in the bullet points is Evi Quaid. She is Randy's wife and former limo driver. Quaid’s wife Evi turned up at the Equity hearing for Quaid and “berated several Equity staff members, including a 76-year-old receptionist whom she allegedly kicked in the shins, drawing blood.” Evi says Equity staffers broke her finger while trying to bar her from the meeting; others say she was a screaming lunatic raving about a “Nazi plot” against her husband.

It just shows that the Nazis didn't really care much for Caddyshack 2 like the rest of us. In addition to being banned for life, Quaid was also fined $81,572 and forced the cancellation of the show before Broadway and the loss of the $6.5M producers spent on financing the show. I'm thinking Randy isn't going to be on their Christmas card list. I think it was probably doomed from the start. Any production called Lone Star Love who throws Randy Quaid in the lead is kind of asking for it. Maybe a Dennis Quaid, yes, but Randy Quaid, I don't think so. Plus, it just sounds cheesy. Better to go down in flames in Seatlle than have the NY Times laugh at you when you open on Broadway.