Baywatch Reunion

Yeah, yeah. Whatever. You try and take out your cell phone and take a photo while the judge is talking. Yesterday I was over at the courthouse and was trying to find a friend of mine for some lunch and wandered into this courtroom looking for them. As small and as squished as this drawing is, the courtroom is even smaller and squishier. Everyone is close in this courtroom. The first thing I noticed is this big head of dyed black hair with spikes. (#4) As I soon as I saw it was Nikki Sixx, I knew Donna D'Errico must be in the room somewhere, and she was. (#3)

I only stayed about ten minutes, and left when Nikki Sixx walked out to take a break, but what I saw was that #10 looked to be Nikki's top whore while #6 and #7 were just used when he was bored with #10. #7 was African-American, but also had a British accent, so I guess that would make her African-British which doesn't make much sense, so lets just call her black. She looked the nicest. The top whore and #6 not all that hot looking.

#5 was Nikki's bald headed lawyer, and quite possibly one of the most rumpled looking people in the world, especially when you contrast him with #8 and #9 who I swore were models but were actually lawyers. #8 was a guy and #9 a woman and they worked together, and hopefully for the sake of the world's future were also going to breed.

#1 was the biggest surprise of the day. #1 was Alexandra Paul who was there with her husband (#2) to support Donna. Alexandra Paul looks freaking amazing. When I got back to the office I had to see how hold she is, because she was just in jeans and a t-shirt and looked incredible. Turns out she is almost 45 and looks 25. That diet and crazy thing she does called exercise must have paid off because I will say right now she is the best looking 45 year old in Hollywood. She had on no makeup, no nothing, and had been sitting with Donna for probably 3 hours by the time I saw her, and she looked great. Her husband, also an athlete, looked a little puffy. Donna just looked tired. It looked like she was tired of being there. Again, she had no lawyer and seemed like the shy little flower in the corner. Nikki kind of dominated the room because he had so many people with him. By the way, Nikki looked like a guy who is afraid to let go of his youth. He was trying to wear jeans that made him look like an idiot, but it was the dyed black hair that has to go. Maybe it was because he gave it a fresh dye or something the day before, but he just walked around like an ass when he left the court room, and I could see him being a complete ass to Donna as well. I have also decided that she is probably not turning tricks on the side like Nikki has said in the past. Honestly, when you look at her, you don't see Baywatch or Playboy. Oh, she is pretty enough, but it is like she has no life at all inside. Just someone who is looking lost and this close to just breaking down completely. Plus, knowing what I know about Alexandra Paul I find it hard to believe she would hang out with someone who is turning tricks to make a living.

Oh, I forgot 12 and 13. From what I could tell, #12 was the husband who cheated on #13 with #11 who basically didn't even bother to get dressed when she came to court. You will be happy to know #13 seemed to be kicking ass because #12's lawyer was in a really bad mood.

Sorry if this wasn't clear. Generally every morning a judge will hear between 10-50 matters. Some last 30 seconds and some last fifteen minutes. Donna and Nikki were almost last on this last and so were having to sit through the entire calendar. When I saw them it was almost lunch, so they had probably been sitting there for 3 hours waiting their turn. #12 and #13 had four or five issues before the judge and so their attorneys were arguing the entire time I was in the courtroom.