As you all know, Jessica Simpson is going country. "I am a country girl. I grew up in Texas, and country music was what I listened to. I always wanted to wait until the time was right." Well the time is right when you have no career in pop music anymore and your movie career is dependent on who owes your dad a favor or three. There is no way she would be making a country album if her last pop album would have been number one or her movie career was skyrocketing.
1. NASCAR fans make me hot
2. My dawg don't come when I holler
3. Daddy watches through the window
4. My man done gone and left me again
5. Jesus was a race car driver (apologies to Primus)
6. Don't let your babies grow up to be Cowboys unless I can date one
7. Papa don't pimp (apologies to Madonna)
8. Living In A Double Wide (duet with Britney Spears)
9. I ran out of peroxide
10.Marrying your cousin is cool
11. Whose boots are in my bed?
ROFLMAO!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a pleasure to see that you've recovered enough from the holidays to deliver a delicious serving of snark.
ReplyDeleteWay to go, Ent!
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ReplyDeleteLOL
ReplyDeleteThough #9 should be ...
"I Ran Out of Peroxide (And My Plastic Surgeon's Low On Lip Plumper)"
also lets not forget those bonus cuts....
"Headin' Straight to DVD"
"Yep, I'm Famous (For What?)"
Love #6, ent.
ReplyDeleteLOLOL! Can we join in the fun, EL?
ReplyDelete~My man took my heart and the trailer (and all I have left is Daddy and the tin foil from my tv antenna)
~Grits and all my lovin' served up just for you (and you and you)
~Daddy's my very own Colonel, just like Elvis and those chicken people have
~Boot scootin' sister Ashley rides agin
~Romo Song (how can I learn Eyetalian when I ain't got English down)
~Bible School and shooting practice made me a good girl
~If lovin' me is wrong, Daddy don't wanna be right
Did I forget any? Come on people, you know there are more here!
I left my heart in SPAM Francisco.
ReplyDeleteI had a few rude ones referring to Mayer and the lesbian shutdown, but I will restrain myself.
ReplyDelete"1. NASCAR fans make me hot"
ReplyDeleteHey! I resemble that remark!
LMAO...
ReplyDeleteYou're too much Ent. I love it!
The Chikin or Fish Blues
ReplyDeletePlease knock up my Little Sister (So I don't look so wierd)
Pretty & Dumb pt. 1
Pretty & Dumb pt. 2 (I'll be dumb forever)
Is it Summer Time Yet? (My Watch Stopped...)
LOL!
ReplyDeleteI personally would title her album Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Be Managed by Papa Simpson.
I just don't know if his image on the CD cover would require a parental advisory warning.
Oh, Enty, you're on a roll - keep it coming!
ReplyDeleteI think you left out an homage to the chicken and tuna which she owes so much of her fame to
how about
"If they're called breasts why do they smell like tuna?"
"He dumped on me and then dumped me" (the John Mayer remix)
ReplyDeleteAnd now her newest release...
ReplyDeleteMy Dad Is Made for Stalkin'
You keep sayin' you've got lots of work for me
Fame and money, but it's always so bad
You been pervin' where you shouldn't have been pervin'
And the sick thing is that you're my very own dad!
My Dad is made for stalkin'
That's what he likes to do
He lusts for me and stalks my little sister Ashley, too!
Are you ready Dad? Start stalkin'!
Okay - I was just about to post "Daddies, don't let your girls grow up to be pissed on" and I read Catherine's and almost pissed myself!
ReplyDeleteYou guys are GOOD!
ReplyDeleteMore:
~Locked inside my car with no way to get out
~I can't say goodbye to the man who bought me my boobs (Daddy's song)
~When will a man look at me the way Daddy does?
I picture a little ballad simply called, "Daddy's little girl"
ReplyDelete"Chicken fried diet pills are a Texas thang"
ReplyDeleteVideo to include licking grease from around her lips...
"Bam Margera is not a jackass! Bam Margera jacked my ass!"
ReplyDelete- a capella version
LOL LOL
ReplyDelete"My husband dumped my slut ass for a MTV reject and now they bone in public."
ReplyDeletetoo long?
"Chicken of the Sea is cool like me"
"My sisters other nose upstaged me too"
im tired these suck.
Robert said...
ReplyDelete"He dumped on me and then dumped me" (the John Mayer remix)
1:09 PM
Nice LOLOL
~"If we all used A/C would global warmin' stop?"
ReplyDelete~"Lost my remote, can't watch a thang" (blues)
~"What's with punctuation anyway?"
Her roots are in Gospel, not country. Probably not as much money or fame to be had there, she reckons.
ReplyDeleteHer roots are also a lot darker than the rest of her hair.
ReplyDeleteJessica going Country is really scary. I really wish she would not go there.
ReplyDeleteOkay, someone owes me a new keyboard.
ReplyDeleteI just sprayed coffee all over this one reading these.
"daddy set me up, now the cowboys hate my guts"
ReplyDeletehmm. maybe i over-thought that one a bit.
she looks good in that pic though, i guess.
You guys are too funny! LOL
ReplyDeleteHeh that list is pretty damn good.
ReplyDeleteI love that we're all adding tracks...
ReplyDeleteTo that end, in the manner that I think her brain functions, there will a bonus track entitled:
12. "Um,...huh?"
Cyn
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ReplyDelete