Katie Finally Issues A Denial

Two weeks after the National Enquirer brought forth a totally unreliable witness to corroborate the long held rumor that the father of Suri Cruise is Chris Klein, her reps have denied the story as "false." Wow. It took them two weeks to come up with that? I guess you can tell they must generally must be spokespeople for Tom Cruise and for the Scientology folks. For the past two weeks they have been a bit busy repairing the earthquake like damage their number two has caused to Scientology throughout the world. Tom has been trying to hold onto power while Leah Remini and Nancy Cartwright nip at his heels, and John Travolta cackles to himself while adjusting his wig, and waiting for Tom to fall.

So, when Katie duck walks in to the room and says, "The Enquirer thinks Suri is Chris' baby. What are we going to do?" she was probably ignored. Ignore and ignored, until finally some guy made a call to MSNBC and said the story is false.

Meanwhile no one from the folks over at Scientology has denied the whole L. Ron story yet. They have evaded it, and gone around it, and lumped it in with other accusations made in the book, but no one has said that Suri is definitively not L. Ron's baby. The thing is that Tom and the Scientology folks better have Suri completely within their fold at all times for the rest of her life. Because, if she does decide they are nutjobs, all she has to do to make millions and millions of dollars is to agree to a DNA test on live television. All three networks. It would be like a Presidential address. Wouldn't you watch it? I know it would make for some damn good television. I wonder how long they could tease it. An hour long show or could they drag it into a three hour biography with a little countdown clock in the corner.