Gwyneth Paltrow's Hospital Visit

I have some theories about Gwyneth Paltrow's trip to the hospital. I think there are a few possible options, all of which I am sure will be disabused by Mr. Huvane as quick as he can hit send on an e-mail.

1. Shock at seeing Chris Martin - As long as it has been since they spent more than a day together, his sudden appearance at home set off a mild heart attack. OK. that is probably the least plausible reason, but it could have been related to it somehow as in she saw that he is quite possibly the only person to have paler skin than Gwyneth and so she was blinded by his paleness, fell down, bumped her head and suffered a concussion and couldn't regain her balance.

2. She had a miscarriage - I think this is probably the second most likely scenario. My guess is that she has been trying to get pregnant again and a miscarriage could necessitate the spending of the night in a hospital and the fact that she needed to be wheeled into the hospital.

3. She had been fasting - When she noticed that her post-Christmas weight had ballooned to 95 pounds she immediately went on the Cabbage Soup diet or some type of fasting equivalent and after two weeks of this finally passed out and was taken to the hospital. They gave her a piece of bread and she felt better and went home. Going with this train of thought, it is possible that she broke down and finally ate one Christmas cookie or some leftover candy from Halloween and her body went into some type of toxic shock from her eating that many calories at one sitting, thus the need for the hospital visit.

4. Publicity - Everyone has forgotten about Ms. Paltrow. She used to be on the covers of the tabloids each and every week and she may be wanting some of that attention that used to come her way. Now she has the opportunity to get at least a Kneepads Cover out of this little fiasco and possibly an appearance on the King Kneepad show as well talking about some type of stress or imagined malady or malaise that her husband and her career are helping her overcome. At the same time she can promote whatever the hell she is doing now and even give five seconds to her adoring husband to plug Coldplay's new album. He will be beside her during the interview on television and in the magazine interview will pop in holding the baby and going off to play with her like a good father. For the perfect example of how to play this little game, just read a copy of Elle with Victoria Beckham on the cover. Other celebrities should take lessons.

5. Drugs - Unless it is life threatening, celebrities try and avoid out in the open hospital situations for their drug issues. Not saying of course she has any. Just saying if she did, she wouldn't have been rolled into the hospital in a wheelchair like this. Hospitals leak like sieves. We would have already heard something if it was drug related.