Four For Friday

#1 There was a slight fire at the home of this B list television star's home the other night. Hit show by the way. Network. Married. Child(ren) Fire department was called out to the home which destroyed the Christmas tree and presents and half the living room furniture. Cause- Seems our star was freebasing and things got out of hand. Guess the cash he passed out to the firefighters who responded to keep things quiet wasn't quite enough, or you wouldn't be hearing about it.

#2 This one almost makes me want to jump up and down and scream. Unfortunately I am physically unable to do so. But on the inside. The inside it is happening. Married couple. A list celebrities, but B list in their chosen profession if you judge their recent results. Husband was kicked out. He cheated. If you saw who this was, you would be jumping up and down too. Unfortunately, he is probably going to be allowed back into the house because they can't stop appearing in public together. I can't believe he cheated. Crazy.

#3 I hate to put two move outs back to back. But, what can I say. The holidays are big for this type of thing. This one doesn't directly involve cheating although there has been some. It is more because of behavior. A list film/television/film couple. He will be allowed to visit on Christmas Eve and Christmas and that is it. If he can straighten out, she will take him back, but I don't think he wants to straighten out. Needs to, but doesn't want to.

#4 After catching an STD on his last tour, this male country singer of epic proportions now has a roadie interview each prospective one night stand to see if they have a STD because when he gave the STD to his wife after the last tour, she wasn't too happy.

Random Photos Part One

You think that Jennifer Lopez actually thinks she looks good in those glasses or is she so Harry Carey blind that she actually needs them that big.
Dave Gahan. Enough said. If you are saying who is Dave Gahan, then let me shed a tear right now for you.
Did anyone see the movie Breaking Away? Zac Efron would fit right in. I don't know if he would be a townie or not, or if he can ride a bike, but still, it screams Anthony Edwards in 1970's shorts to me.
Shakira shows the kids in Bangladesh that her hips really don't lie. They all of course are wondering who the hell she is and why she is teaching them Spanish.
Lloyd!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pregnant! Pregnant! Pregnant!
For some reason I don't think Alex Vaggo takes much crap from Paris Hilton.

Now. If you read all the way down here to the bottom, and click this little link here you can see some full frontal and not quite full frontal male action. NSFW.

Not An Arrest, But She Is In Jail -- And Pregnant

The long awaited (by Simon Cowell) sex tape starring former American Idol finalist Jessica Sierra is close to being released. I know this because the trailer is out. If there is nothing you enjoy more than a former reality star turned drug addict turned crackhead baby mom doing porn, then this is the tape for you. For everyone else, there will be full frontal male nudity later. What the hell, it's Christmas and I want everyone to be able to get some this weekend. You know, there is anniversary sex and birthday sex. They are almost always guaranteed. Valentine's Day sex is not always a sure thing because of the inevitable fights and pressure of the day. Columbus Day sex has always been my favorite. You really don't hear too much about holiday sex though. No Thanksgiving quickies or a pre-Midnight Mass stress reliever. That should change. And I want to help. First the drug addict porn, and then later the men. I know, I know. Typical guy putting his needs first. I don't think I need to remind you that this video is NSFW.

P.S. I think it should be a rule in the future that if you are the guy making the sex tape, it is only polite to remove your socks. For screencaps of the video, you can click here.

Did You Hear The One?

I don't know why didn't share this one last Christmas, but when I read the story about how Kathy Hilton rounded up donations from celebrities to auction them for Make A Wish it reminded me of it. Speaking of Kathy Hilton, and I do so with only great trepidation, the only reason anyone knows about her donation efforts is because she told all the media. No one was paying attention to her and what she was doing and that just didn't sit right with her, so she started calling the media to bring attention to what she was doing. Why can't anyone just do something just to do it? That is why I love the kindness blinds I run. The subjects are only doing it for good, and not the glory or pats on the back.

Anyway, last year this B list film actress with A+ name recognition was going through money at very healthy clip to support her drug addiction. Tired of stealing from her friends at parties, she came up with a grand scheme. She said she was collecting donations for a toys for tots like organization, but since it was overseas she needed cash instead of unwrapped presents. $50,000 in donations later, she had herself one hell of a holiday season. The only reason she got busted on it was because the idiot offered some coke to a person she had previously plead poverty to. When asked where she got the money for the coke, she told the person about her scam. In her drug addled confusion she forgot that her fellow coke sniffer had been one of the contributors to the cause.

Could I Have An Arrest Please

This is turning out to be one of the slowest days in gossip news for the past several months. I really don't want to write or read anymore about Jamie Lynn Spears. I don't care what Blair from Facts Of Life has to say about it and I sure don't need to hear another clip of Britney Spears acting even dumber than usual by questioning again whether her sister is really pregnant.

There are no Lindsay Lohan antics and no ridiculous statements from Denise and Charlie. What is a blogger supposed to do? I could write about Sacha Baron Cohen and his killing off of Borat and Ali G, but that sentence would be about the extent of the story.

I did get another e-mail from Gift Clement after our lengthy diatribe towards her. I will be working on a response to her over the weekend. So, I thought I would give everyone a little bit more of what you all love most anyway. Blind Items. Sure, there will be Random Photos later, although I may fall asleep if I have to see any more celebrities on the beach or skiing.

Where is a good lesbian ass grab of Jessica Biel when I need it?

For those of you bored out of your minds over Christmas, I will be doing some posting. I'll be just as bored as you and so could use the distraction. Plus, I heard it is not a good idea to actually drink for four consecutive days without at least a 30 minute break every 4 hours.

AP checked in with me yesterday and offered up the fact that she was at a movie theater recently for a premiere. The place was packed but the A list star of the film, and a number one film it was, spent the second 30 minutes of the film getting serviced first by hand and then by mouth from his companion. They were in the back row, but AP and several other people witnessed the action as they made their way to the bathroom.

Vincent Margera Escapes Jail Time

Vincent Margera has been ordered to give up his Don Vito persona for 10 years following his recent conviction on child sex assault charges. He is one of the stars of Viva Le Bam, and the uncle of Jackass regular Bam Margera.

Vincent Margera was found guilty of two counts of sexual assault against children in October.

During sentencing in a Jefferson County, Colorado courtroom on Thursday, Judge M.J. Menendez banned Margera from signing autographs and from appearing on any TV show for a decade.

Judge Menendez also placed Margera on probation from 10 years to life and ordered him to register as a sex offender, seek treatment for his substance abuse problems and undertake a mental evaluation.

The 51-year-old had pleaded not guilty to allegations he groped three underage girls at an MTV appearance in a Colorado mall in August 2006. He was found guilty on two counts, but acquitted on another.

When he was found guilty, Margera collapsed to the floor and began screaming that his life was over and that someone should just kill him. That actually seemed like a good idea to me. Unfortunately the ass is going to walk free. The loss of his "identity" is one hell of a good punishment from the judge though. That in itself is probably more devastating to Margera than any other punishment except spending 10 years in prison. I actually think that he will never be heard from again, which is a good thing.

I Don't Think This Santa Has Been Groped

Susan Dahl had spent four months homeless in Colorado and just been on a harrowing 10-hour bus trip through sleet and snow. Hungry and broke, all she wanted to do was get back to family in Minnesota.

That's when a tall man in a red coat and red hat sat next to her at the downtown bus station, talked to her quietly and then slipped her $100 on that recent December afternoon.

The man was doing the work of Larry Stewart, Kansas City's original Secret Santa who anonymously wandered city streets doling out $100 bills to anyone who looked like they needed it. Stewart died of cancer at age 58 earlier this year, but his legacy lives on.

"He said `Here's a $100 bill ... and this is in memory of Larry Stewart,'" said Dahl, 56.

During about a quarter century, Stewart quietly gave out more than $1.3 million to people in laundromats, diners, bus stations, shelters and thrift stores, saying it was his way of giving back at Christmas for all the wealth and generosity he had received in his lifetime.

For years, Stewart did not want his name known or want thanks or applause, but last December he acknowledged who he was and used his last few months while battling cancer to press his message of kindness toward others. He even trained some friends in the ways of Secret Santa.

This Christmas, a friend who told Stewart in the hospital that he would carry on for him is out on the streets, handing out $100 bills, each one stamped with "Larry Stewart, Secret Santa."

Between Kansas City and several other cities this Christmas, the new Secret Santa will give away $75,000 of his own money, mostly in $100 bills.

"I didn't want to be a Secret Santa," said the man, a business consultant who lives in the Kansas City area. "I wanted to give Larry money. But last year, he said I had to hand it out myself. So I did, and I got hooked."

This new Secret Santa talks about Larry Stewart to just about everyone he encounters. "Have you ever heard of a man named Larry Stewart?" he asks before handing out $100 or more.

Depending on who he's talking to, the new Secret Santa might say Stewart was a man who believed in making people happy by giving them money they didn't have to ask for, apply for or wait in line for.

"There was this fella named Larry Stewart," he tells a man in the bus station. "He was an old friend of mine. He was called Secret Santa, and every year he would find a few people who might need a little money and he would ask that you pass on the kindness."

People respond differently to the gesture. Some cry. Some scream. A rare few even say "No thanks."

Others take the money and offer their own gifts. like Robert Young, who was homeless and had only 20 cents in his pocket. When Secret Santa gave him $200, Young, 50, took out an old notebook and ripped out a song he had written.

"It's yours now," he told Secret Santa, who thanked Young, and carefully tucked the pages into his pocket.

The new Secret Santa has also started a Web site, and is trying to recruit other Secret Santas across the country. "Larry's dream was for a Secret Santa in every city," Kansas City's Santa said.

There are now a couple apprentices, with more candidates turning up all the time. But, he says, you don't have to be willing to hand out money to be a Secret Santa.

"Anyone can be a Secret Santa," he says. "You don't have to give away $100. You can give away kindnes. Help someone."

Story courtesy of AP (as in Associated Press, not as in our AP)

Dakota Johnson Leaves Rehab

Who knew Dakota Johnson was even in rehab? I believe it was blind item, but I am going to have to look for it. For the first time, Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson have publicly admitted that Dakota Johnson had been in rehab. She recently completed a 30 day stint at Malibu, California treatment facility Visions Teen Treatment Center.

According to sources, former couple Johnson and Griffith realized their daughter needed help after chatting about how Dakota seemed to be partying every night. I'm suspecting it is because she had absolutely no rules at all. Hell, even when she was under 18, her mom was lighting cigarettes for her.

Dakota reportedly agreed to get help, and is now a reformed person, thanks to rehab and regular Alcoholics Anonymous meetings.

Both Johnson and Griffith have previously attended rehab - the bloated, former Miami Vice star battled drug and alcohol issues at the Betty Ford Clinic in the mid-1990s, while his ex hit rehab for addictions to booze in 1988 and painkillers in 2000. I think there are some more, but those are the only ones that have ever been acknowledged.

Louisiana Police Can't Count

Casey Aldridge's uncle went down to the Kentwood Sheriff's Department and provided documentation to show that Casey is just 18 years old, and not 19 as earlier reported, including by me. The sheriff's department in Kentwood, Louisiana confirmed that no complaint had been lodged against Spears' boyfriend and that "no criminal investigation is currently underway".

The lack of investigation appears to be valid in regards to any possible felony charges against Casey, BUT, unless Casey is declining in age daily, he should still be guilty of a misdemeanor in both Louisiana and California.

In Louisiana, the relevant portion of the penal code is:

Misdemeanor carnal knowledge of a juvenile is sexual intercourse with consent between someone age 17 to 19 and someone age 15 to 17 when the difference in their ages is greater than two years

Casey is at least two years older than Jamie Lynn Spears. His birthday is later than hers and 18-16 = 2 + the extra days. I guess that the investigating officer in Kentwood must be missing some fingers or toes.

In California, the relevant portion of the penal code is:

1. If the minor is less than three years younger than the defendant, the offense is a misdemeanor.

I'm not saying here that I agree that this should be a crime. What I am saying is that the law is a strict liability law, and that under the law, if applied equally to all people, Casey is guilty. Strict liability means basically that there is no excuse under the law. There doesn't have to be intent, and believing someone to be older than they actually are is no excuse. Strict Liability just says, if this happened, you are guilty. I'm sure there are plenty of guys who have been convicted of this sex crime who had sex under the exact same age difference as happened here. If Casey walks, don't you think they might be just a wee bit pissed.

Lainey Blind Item

Married and mega successful, with several children, but how to account for the gay young things seen coming and going from his trailer during production of his next hit? They were not part of the crew and they were not there to work… at least not on the film. Word is, he is insatiable and needs variety. Rarely does the same boy visit twice. And rarely are the boys not well taken care of. Though they are not paid professionals, per se, but they are compensated for being pretty and bendy. This is apparently a requirement. All of them have been observed to share the same body type: lean and fresh with short hair and they look like they all “belong in a music video”. Satisfaction guaranteed on both sides. He gets his and they get trips, clothes, watches, iPods… like a gay holiday year round! Always tip well to avoid talkers, savvy?

Today's Blind Items

#1 I think everyone thinks this couple is happily married. After reading this, you might not be so sure. Just like Tom & Katie, this A list couple has separate bedrooms. Unlike Tom and Katie, this couple actually gives the impression that their sex life is spectacular which leads to speculation as to why they don't sleep in the same room, and not even on the same floor. Well maybe it has something to do with the fact that exes aren't always exes, and the wife enjoys spending some time every week or so with her ex. Often the ex arrives unannounced in the middle of the night, and to prevent an awkward situation (like this whole damn thing isn't awkward) when the ex crawls into bed, our happy couple maintain separate bedrooms.

#2 This celebrity, pretty close to a billionaire, if not there already was caught leaving the residence of someone not his wife the other night. Would probably have not been a problem except for the fact it was 3am and the guest he was visiting ran after him in her nightgown because he had left behind his gloves.

Random Photos Part One

Ashley Olsen goes dumpster diving for Christmas presents.
You ever get the feeling that Bai Ling just imagines she is always with people. She has more fun by herself than any other person I have ever seen.
Just in case you wondered what her band-aids said. I know you probably didn't. I actually just thought she had a bad case of rug burns when I saw the one band aid in the first photo.
A Simpson Family Christmas. Can you feel the love? I know Pimpa can feel that extra 50 pounds he gained this year. Never has a shirt been more appropriate.

I stay up nights wondering how Harvey Weinstein managed to get Georgina Chapman to marry him.
I don't stay up nights thinking about Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, but I think some of you do. You don't admit it, but I know you watched The Hills and are just dying to know if Spencer and Heidi will stay together. Yesterday they were. Must be a DVD coming out or something.
When you take Chyna out, she brings along her apartment all in one bag. Of course it could be things for her next "appointment."
All the kids asked Ashley Tisdale to sing. She said she couldn't because of her nose. They than all asked, "what the hell does your nose have to do with you singing?"
You know that stupid joke someone always says when you get a really short haircut about getting in a fight with a lawnmower? This is the reason people tell that joke. Nice to see that Tobey Maguire tipped the valet. Next time tip your hairstylist and she won't do that to you again.

Tom Cruise doesn't look so good when he isn't expecting the photo opportunity. Kind of has that "why are you here taking my photo since I didn't ask you or pay you to be here look?"
Oh sure, the mittens should keep you warm.
Janine Turner. Former crush, now Ellen Barkin look-a-like.
This is a red carpet. Nothing unusual about that for Jeanne Tripplehorn except this red carpet was at 4am which was what time she had to arrive to get ready for the SAG Nominations. Guess actors don't like Johnny Depp because Sweeney Todd was shut out.

Great News For Your Holiday Season

Mischa Barton is thinking about quitting acting. With the exception of Jessica Simpson retiring this is about the best news I could hope for this holiday season. Oh sure. I know you are thinking world peace or something like that. Too cliche. This is the new world peace. Instead of drinking to world peace, you drink to Mischa Barton quitting acting.

She says: "There's been times I've thought, 'I don't want to be an actress forever,' and there are times I feel I can't live without it."

Well let me go ahead and give you a push to your first though Mischa. First, you really aren't that great of an actor. As much as you thought you were the shit when you did The O.C., it really wasn't much of a stretch based on who you are as a person. I don't see offers flowing your way to the point where "you want fries with that?" should completely leave the back of your mind as a career alternative. Oh sure, there will be people that will hire you. You can play the same tired roles and every now and then sleep with some producer so you get a bigger role, but really, shouldn't you just follow that first thought that came into your head and just quit acting. Then I can start worrying about world peace, and goodwill towards men. (Except of course for FOX News who copied my statutory rape article almost word for word yesterday with no credit. I know, I know. I do the same thing, BUT, they have lawyers and writers and do it full-time, and really have no excuse. )

Jamie Lynn Spears Thrown Under The Bus

When I mentioned yesterday my idea for The Britney Spears reality show starring Howard K Stern and Larry Birkhead, and how it would really be similar to The Anna Nicole Show, I realized it was missing one key ingredient. The crazy relative. You have to have the crazy relative like Anna did. Well, I found one.

Chanda McGovern is the aunt to both Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears and she is apparently the Michael Lohan of the family Spears.

Apparently not content to let the tabloids find her, she went and sought out the tabloids so she could give a statement on the pregnancy of her niece. Instead of parroting the family line, she said that Jamie Lynn got pregnant on purpose because Jamie wanted attention. Chanda said that Jamie was doing it to rebel.

She says that Jamie Lynn is jealous of all the attention that Britney gets everyday and so she wanted a little "me" attention. The best way to do this was to get pregnant.

Well she certainly got attention. Hope it is what she wanted. Who wants to go to Christmas dinner at the Spears house this year? That should be one hell of a party.

Daily Mirror Blind Item

Which clumsy rocker dropped a ciggie on his manhood while belting out a Beatles' song on the loo? He was left in agony and close to tears...

Marisa Tomei And Phillip Seymour Hoffman Naked

Yes, the headline is accurate. Hollywood has joined together an Academy Award Winning couple one would never see in real life. To add fuel to the fire the couple get naked and sweaty so we could relive this odd coupling for years and years on the internet. I am trying to think of the last time two Academy Award Winners got naked on screen together, after winning the award. I'm sure there must be some, and no doubt all of you know the answer. I am still in shock at seeing Phillip Seymour Hoffman naked though and I probably won't be able to sleep tonight let alone concentrate on movie trivia.

The film is called Before The Devil Knows You're Dead. I normally don't bother posting sex scenes to films, but I just thought it was the oddest combination of couple and nudity and award, that I felt it deserved a mention. Plus, it is the holidays. Nothing says gift giving like Phillip Seymour Hoffman doing it doggie style.

To see the NSFW photos from the film and the numerous NSFW sex scenes, then click here.

Tony Parker Wasting His Money

Tony Parker filed suit against X17 yesterday for allegedly defaming him. In the suit, Parker claimed "X17 had to know that the story was false, or at the very least, it had to have entertained serious doubts about the credibility of its supposed source." The suit asks for $40M in damages.

X17 published stories that French model Alexandra Paressant had "an affair with Mr. Eva Longoria and that the two carried on a secret relationship for about two months."

I like that Mr. Eva Longoria thing. That's funny. I didn't notice that when I first read their story. Tony Parker is a public figure, and as I have said many times here, in order for X17 to lose this case Tony Parker will have to prove that X17 acted with malice. What that means is that Tony must prove that X17 printed the story even though they knew it was not true or printed it with reckless disregard to the truth.

Tony can't prove it and his lawyers must know that as well. I saw one of the letters they sent to another website and they are very aggressive and take the offensive kind of letters, but it still doesn't mean they will win. X17 interviewed the woman and she told them a credible story with dates and facts. She then provided them copies of text message allegedly sent between the couple.

That's good enough. X17 wins. Apparently Tony's people are pissed that X17 didn't ask Tony for comment before running the story. They don't have to. There is no law that says the other side must be allowed to be heard from. Most news agencies do try, but they try 1 minute before deadline and pray for an answering machine and then say no one was available to comment.

Is Tony doing this because Eva is making him, or because everyone will maybe remember the suit instead of the affair allegations? I do know that when Tony gets his case thrown out, he is going to have to pay the legal fees for X17.

I almost forgot. The $40M in damages? In addition to everything else Tony has to prove, he also needs to prove he suffered actual damage. Even if the story is completely untrue, if Parker didn't suffer any damages, he doesn't win. He will have to show that contracts were lost, or endorsements not given to him because of the story. He won't be able to do that, and certainly not $40M worth.

Just Cancel The Show

Does anyone even watch The People's Choice Awards? Back in the day when there were fewer award shows, The People's Choice was kind of the fun award show. Award shows back in the day consisted of Emmy, Oscar, Grammy, Tony, AMA, and People's Choice. The CMA's came along on television just a little later. Now of course they have an award for everything and so People's Choice has lost its luster. Hell, I bet most people didn't even know it existed. Would you want to be called award winning if it was a People's Choice? I'm not even sure which people are choosing and how they are choosing, so how can it be People's Choice? It is very popular with celebrities though because there is an award for any category you can think of and they let you know in advance if you have won which ensures a very nice turnout.

Anyway, with no writers, the show is undergoing a format change. No red carpet, no press, no audience. Basically it will be host Queen Latifah announcing a winner who will read a pre-recorded acceptance speech via video. Now all that sounds like one hell of a way to spend an evening in front of the television. The show is expected to run four hours, and acceptance speeches will be limited to 15 minutes. There will be commercials every six minutes like clockwork, except when they allow local stations to broadcast commercials in which case it will be every three minutes. The entire CBS schedule will be advertised via a crawl at the bottom of the screen throughout the entire program.

I have a much better idea for the producers. Queen Latifah and 3 or 4 comics sitting around her "living room." Think of those shows VH1 always has like 80's and Best Week Ever. Have Queen host Michael Ian Black and Mo Rocca, and Anthony Anderson. Queen reads the nominees, and then the comics go off. They all pick who they think is going to win, and then Queen announces the winner. While the winner is giving their speech, the four make comments like it is a DVD commentary.

Katie Is Mom But Nicole Is Nicole--Huh?

So, I was sitting here and looking at all the puff pieces that Tom and Katie's people have been trying to jam down our throats this week to show they are totally normal. All the people who don't read blogs and the internet get their entertainment news from Parade and Kneepads Magazine. It's true. The average age of their reader is 114. Therefore this Sunday, people will open their Parade Magazine and see Diane Keaton holding hands with Queen Latifah (no lesbian rumors in the over 100 crowd), and a photoshopped Katie Holmes sharing all of her holiday plans with the readers.

Anyway, my mind was reeling from the sugary sweetness of the "interview" when I realized that Katie said that Isabella and Connor call her mom. It didn't register at first, but then as I was wondering whether to post about the SAG Awards nominations I saw Nicole Kidman's name and realized she had just given an interview where she made a point of the fact that Isabella and Connor call her Nicole.

How strange is that? I think what we have here is a Parade "interview" that was done before Nicole's interview came out. All the aww shucks warm and fuzzy about Katie kind of turns odd when the two children of Nicole and Tom don't call their mother mom, but call their barely older step-mother, "mom."

What do they call Tom? Katie and Nicole both don't answer that question. My guesses in order are (1) General (2) Sir (3) Strange Little Dude

Here are some quotes from Parade. I can seriously feel cavities forming in my few remaining teeth. This is totally designed for the dinner before 4pm crowd.

“I will probably cook some garlic mashed potatoes and maybe a cheesecake,” she says.
She adds that “Tom’s really good in the kitchen ... [he] has shown me the greatness of extra chocolate chips.”

“Suri will be in the dough everywhere,” Holmes joked.

She said the family — who include Cruise’s kids with Nicole Kidman, Connor, 12, and Isabella, 14 — will likely go skiing. (She added that “[Tom’s] first two children are incredible, really smart and kind. They call me ‘Mom.’”)

As for the couple’s first child, Suri, Holmes says “we don't like to be away from her.
“She's very aware,” Holmes adds. “This summer, when Tom was working in Germany, she'd wake up and say, ‘Hello, Berlin,’”

“I appreciate the man that I'm with and my family and my work,” she tells Parade. “I feel very lucky to be able to say that. I mean, what we do in a week is extraordinary.”

Hello Kitty Does Ellen

I know from the above headline that perhaps you were expecting something more lurid or obscene. Perhaps Ellen and a cartoon getting it on for the big screen or something similar. Although I am sure that would be fun, what you have to look forward to instead is our very own Hello Kitty. As in, our frequent commenter, Hello Kitty who attended a taping of Ellen last week. Knowing that many of you would like to know what goes on behind the scenes of a typical Ellen show, she was kind enough to write down her experience at the show and share it here.

First you must keep in mind that you have to sign up for tickets on her website. They allow you to go once a season and you can't put in multiple requests to sweeten the odds. I had tried twice last spring, but finally got lucky at the beginning of the new season last fall with tickets.

The tickets come in the mail in the form of a confirmation letter that was for guaranteed seating. They also have back up, standby seating, and those that don't get into the audience end up in the riffraff room next to the stage, separated by a partial wall, and only have a monitor to watch.

People come from all over to see the show, getting there early to stand in line, even earlier if they don't have a guaranteed ticket. We had received a call to get there by 2 pm, but when we got there at 1:30 we were already towards the back of the line. The ladies next to us had been a couple times already, and have a nice picnic lunch in the park before getting in line. Others would send one person to get food while they stood in line.

Unfortunately our original tickets were the week of Iggygate. When we got there, most everyone was already gone. The audience coordinator came out and advised the few of us remaining that we could come back another time so we were rescheduled for a December show, one of the 12 Days of Christmas giveaway days that others would have killed for. There were quite a number of us that ended up in line last week for the same reason, and since we did have to wait for 2-3 hours before taping at 5 pm, we ended up getting to know some people pretty well.

One game that our buddies played was guess the story of someone in line -- how old she was, how recently divorced, etc.

I was amazed at the range of people in line, all walks of life, mostly female, but with good male representation. We all had gifts for the Toys for Tots drive that the Ellen show was helping collect gifts for, and ended up sharing pens when the information sheets finally turned up. Audience coordinators came out around 2:30 to make some announcements, bring us in, and assign numbers (we were 122 & 123.)

You may wonder if we had to cross any picket lines, and there were a handful of picketers that walked up & down across the driveway, on the sidewalk, with a table across the street for organizational purposes, but once we entered the Ellen audience outdoor holding area, we were separated by a wall and a hoard of people.

To get to the next waiting area, were were escorted in groups to a security screening area. All it was missing was the x-ray machines and the requirement to remove our shoes, since the requirement to have no hazardous objects (knives, guns, lighters) was much the same. We also got escorted in groups to use the bathrooms, and were monitored to make sure we didn't wander off.

The holding area outside is a series of wooden benches under a canopy, with monitors playing the show that was aired that day and the day before. That way, we had some idea of what we might have missed if we hadn't recorded the show broadcast that day. They do have a small food concession right near the benches, so there were drinks, sandwiches, salads, and snacks for sale, and the marines were standing a few yards away collecting the toys.

Finally at 4:30 they line us up by numbers 1-200 with the guaranteed seating on the one side of the pavement and the rest on the other to be seated in the riffraff room. They all looked so sad as we walked past.

Anyhow, there was no guarantee that your party would be seated together, My friend and I were seated together, but the guy next to me was separated from his son. We walked though a room filled with toys and the Ellen gear shop, and then up some stairs to get to our seats. We were near the top on the aisle. The crew generally seemed happy to be there, and not just because they were working while others had been shut out or laid off.

They have a warm up guy that comes out and directs dancing contests - best dance moves and best dancers per section. My friend got the first shirt, but I'm guessing it was that she had that cute little old lady thing going, and not for the most jiggy moves. We also got a little practice in standing, cheering and applauding (no words or names, just loud woots.) We were also reminded not to touch Ellen or ask for autographs.

The stage is a large, multi sectioned set, with Xmas in the back were Ellen and the guests come in , an area on the side for various bits, and the host and guest chairs on stage right. The DJ is almost in the audience stage left, and once he comes out the show gets going, music blaring & everyone on their feet.

Ellen's opening monologue was about present wrapping, a monopoly set that was quickly wrapped and delivered so that we could get to dancing. There was a secret product promotion reveal for head and shoulders involving a bit where she washed an assistant's hair, and then to commercial.

Just so you know, the show runs in real time, so when a broadcast would go to commercial, we would have a 3 minute break to adjust the set & freshen up the host (the old tweak of the hair and touch of powder.) What you would have seen in terms of guests during the taping was pretty much was would end up on TV, everything in one take.

Of course we were taping day 8 of the 12 days of Christmas Giveaway. All the past week, my friend had been telling me what some of the other giveaways were -- cameras, phones, clothing -- and what the dollar value of said gifts were. Our gifts were a Gucci Hobo Bag, Calvin Klein sun glasses, a gift certificate & lotion from a spa, and a necklace that will be sent to the house. Remember, thought this stuff is free, we still had to fill out a tax form to get the gifts of an estimated value of $1300, and may need to pay taxes on it.

A week later it's all gotten to be a blur. Taped bits are show in the on set monitors, and there are several of them. There are cameras everywhere, but my friend only saw her hand and now our faces on tv. It's a pretty big set, bigger than what you would expect from watching it edited down on a small tv screen. There are feed back monitors in the audience so that you can hear what is being said, but in terms of view, there isn't a bad seat in the house.

Guests were Jane Seymour taking about her painting classes, the guy from Flipping Out talking about simple kitchen remodels, and the guy who jumps cars and now has a Nike internet ad.

By the time it all wrapped up and the tax forms were complete and turned in, we were tired. We walked out the way we came in, and were given all the swag out in the parking lot. On the way to the car, a lady in a car stopped and asked us where we had gotten the Gucci bags (easy enough to see when the bag says Gucci.)

I'm still trying to figure out where to got to use the spa gift certificate, but we both agree that we're going to try to go again in December next year.

NY Daily News Blind Item

Which documentary maker had to turn a blind eye to all the call girls that her subject, a famous sports star, was patronizing? "The hookers got better access than I did," she joked Tuesday at a dinner for the Gucci Tribeca Documentary Fund, a new initiative of the Tribeca Film Festival.

I Almost Forgot

I've noticed most of you think that the Jamie Lynn Spears pregnancy may have been a blind item. You are right.

The blind item in question was dated September 12, 2007.

#1 This teenage B list actress may still be a teenager, but she also may be pregnant. The single actress has told producers it's just a little weight gain, but the producers want her to take a pregnancy test and prove to them she's not pregnant before they make any additional commitments. So far she has refused.

The photos above were taken September 20, and 26th respectively. I think you will see that JLS had obviously already gained some weight from the bottom photo which was taken in June.

Today's Blind Items

All this clamor for whether or not JLS is a blind item revealed is the perfect opportunity to remind you that on January 1, lots of blind items will be revealed. Not to be a tease, but hey, tis the season for surprises, there will be a reveal of why something was not revealed to everyone's satisfaction in the past.

This married B list film actress who has been in some of the top movies of all time has a child or two or three. If I told you how many it would give it away, but she is definitely still married. None of this divorce or separation business. Did I mention the A name recognition. Not A+, but A. With all these letters you would think it would have something to do with teachers or school or something and you would be correct. Celebrities who are decent parents actually go to parent teacher conferences and such. Usually they are once or twice a year. Our actress has been going every week. Not that her child(ren) are doing bad in school. They aren't. But the actress is being bad after school with her child(ren)'s teacher. Bad is in she paid for an apartment for the two of them to visit every week. Bad as in he is married with children as well. Bad, as in they used to mess around a little at the school sometimes until someone saw them. Bad is in huge scandal for the actress and the school.

Random Photos Part One

I didn't even know Alicia Witt could sing. Actually I still don't know if she can, but someone must think so because presumably she is getting paid for singing and playing piano and not for her fabulous bird calling skills.
Wasn't this look on the cover of a Beatles album? I actually like it. I want to know who started the most recent hat trend of the style Jessica Alba is wearing. I know Victoria Beckham has been wearing one for awhile, but is the world going to have to give her credit for this new trend?

Eric Dane out and about. Is it me or does he look really old in these photos?
However old he is, he still looks more age appropriate than Eva Amurri. I don't know why I don't like Eva. All my thoughts of her are negative. Whether it is her sense of entitlement, or the fact that she looks 40 even though she is 22 there is just something about her I don't like. Not that she is probably a big fan of mine or anything, so I guess that makes us even.
Is that Jennifer Aniston peering out of the window up there?
At what point does the lead in makeup affect the health of an unborn child? It probably has no effect on someone who uses makeup in a normal manner, but this is just getting worse and worse. I just envision Christina Aguilera sitting in front of a mirror for hours just piling on more and more layers. I don't know why she bothers. She is an attractive woman and you know that no matter how awful she looks, she has Jordan next to her to make her even look better.
Speaking of awful looking. Woody Allen looks like a stick with a photoshopped head attached.

I'm sure Pete Wentz is winning over the NYPD with the cop and doughnut stereotype in Fall Out Boy's new video.
All those Miley Cyrus pregnancy rumors don't seem as crazy now do they?
Poor Lily Allen has had her pregnancy news and the effect her chain smoking and drinking habit will have on her unborn child overshadowed by the Jamie Lynn Spears news. The lucky dad and future domestic violence victim is Chemical Brothers member Ed Simons. Joe Pantoliano obviously is a firm believer in the layer theory of dressing.

Kate Hudson Blames Her Kid For Divorce

I'm sure Kate Hudson will say she is misquoted, because although she probably said it and meant it, I doubt she wants the rest of the world to think she said it or meant it. In the new issue of Vogue, Kate is interviewed and had this to say about her marriage and divorce to singer Chris Robinson, “we had Ryder, and we both sort of looked at each other and went, ‘Something’s off.’”

Prior to the birth of their son, Kate and Chris were the happy couple epitomized. It was only after the birth of their son that trouble began. Even though the couple remained married for three years after Ryder's birth, you can tell that at least Kate wanted out as soon as birth.

People get divorced for lots of reasons, and I'm sure the pressure of children, and the lack of time spent as a couple because of the child are probably major factors in divorce. But, unless you are the most callous and insensitive parent on the face of the earth, you don't say that to your child. Maybe Kate hasn't said directly to Ryder, but it is in print for all the world to read, and for him to read when he starts reading. Plus, if she expressed herself like this in words, how does she express herself through her actions, or thoughts or her behavior to Ryder. What she is communicating subconsciously to her son?

Merry Christmas Ryder. Don't tell your mom that though or she will spill a little secret about Santa.

Pimpa Must Have Pimped Someone--Grease Country Getting Closer

Forget what you are hearing or reading as the case may be today about Jessica Simpson and a Pretty Woman remake. It isn't going to happen. EVER. The film still does incredibly well in DVD sales and no one wants that cash cow to be interrupted or sidetracked by some Jessica Simpson fiasco. No matter how much Pimpa might want his daughter to portray a hooker, it isn't going to happen.

However, the studios are willing to destroy another movie, so who the hell knows what any of them are thinking. The Grease Country project has cleared some more development hurdles and is almost a sure thing at this point. Producers are confident that despite the straight to DVD acting abilities of Jessica Simpson that in a musical, she will do very well and that people will not be as focused on her acting, but instead on her singing ability. With a strong cast surrounding her, and the recent success of the High School Musical franchise, producers want to begin filming as soon as possible.

There is still no one attached to the project other than Jessica, and Willie Nelson as the Frankie Valli character, but with the additional financing that was secured, some new songs for the film and a desire to get the project done, casting is supposed to begin in earnest.

From what I understand, Jessica would be the fish out of water character and moves to a small southern town from the big city, and hooks up with Danny there. Locations are currently being scouted in North Carolina and Tennessee for the film.

Ashlee Simpson Video

Just because so many of you seem to be interested in the new music video from Ashlee Simpson, I am going to post it here. It is definitely a little strange. Enjoy.For some reason it seems really familiar.

Larry Birkhead Wants His Chance At Britney

Larry Birkhead wants to do for Britney Spears what he did for Anna Nicole Smith. In an interview with In Touch, Birkhead says he finds Britney to be sexy and that he is looking for a blonde, single woman with children. No doubt, Larry has called Howard K Stern who probably is already sitting in front of the gate at Britney's house and will move in next week.

I just find this whole thing disturbing. I find it disturbing because I could actually see Larry try and make a move on Britney. God knows Britney would be up for anything involving a man, sex and publicity. What would be better in her Adderall inflicted mind than a guy who was with one of her heroes, Anna Nicole Smith. We could all follow the sage of Britney, Larry and Howard and would make for one hell of a reality show. You have a southern blonde with kids who has a history of drug abuse and nudity and some crazy ass relatives. Hard to tell which is ANS and which is Britney. The only difference is that Britney already has money and could afford to pay Howard K for his expertise so he could get off the couch in his parent's basement and start destroying the life of another woman.