You Think Marc Anthony Is Going To Be Quiet?

Everyone today is buzzing about how Jennifer Lopez is going to have a traditional Scientology birth. You know the one I'm talking about where, John Travolta and Tom Cruise come to your room and do the hula hoop, followed by Jada Pinkett Smith reading selected passages from L. Ron Hubbard. All the while, the mother isn't supposed to utter a sound or will be whipped by Leah Remini.

I don't know the view of Jennifer Lopez when it comes to Scientology, but I do know that there is no way it will be a Scientology quiet birth. If you think that her jitterbug of a husband and alleged father of the child is going to be quiet during the birth then you just don't know your Marc Anthony. There will be music playing during the entire birth. Marc's Greatest Hits (it's short, but out there) followed by hour after hour after hour of Marc performing live right there in the hospital room with frequent dedications to his wife and the nurses and all the rest of the staff he invites in to listen to him perform. During labor, to take Jennifer's mind off of the pain he will no doubt ask her to perform a duet with him or re-enact a scene from their film. Of course all of it will be captured on video and no doubt sold to the world as Marc And Jen Live with a world tour to follow.