Everyone today is buzzing about how Jennifer Lopez is going to have a traditional Scientology birth. You know the one I'm talking about where, John Travolta and Tom Cruise come to your room and do the hula hoop, followed by Jada Pinkett Smith reading selected passages from L. Ron Hubbard. All the while, the mother isn't supposed to utter a sound or will be whipped by Leah Remini.
I don't know the view of Jennifer Lopez when it comes to Scientology, but I do know that there is no way it will be a Scientology quiet birth. If you think that her jitterbug of a husband and alleged father of the child is going to be quiet during the birth then you just don't know your Marc Anthony. There will be music playing during the entire birth. Marc's Greatest Hits (it's short, but out there) followed by hour after hour after hour of Marc performing live right there in the hospital room with frequent dedications to his wife and the nurses and all the rest of the staff he invites in to listen to him perform. During labor, to take Jennifer's mind off of the pain he will no doubt ask her to perform a duet with him or re-enact a scene from their film. Of course all of it will be captured on video and no doubt sold to the world as Marc And Jen Live with a world tour to follow.
J. Lo's father has been a life-long Sci-freak.
ReplyDeleteI think she has basically disowned her Catholic mother
all I want to know is what the hell kinda' magic baster this Cult has. That shit is worth millions.
HA!HA!HA!HA!HA! Squeal! Gfaw! Seriously, I'm crying here.
ReplyDeletekirstie has agreed to attend and chip in for the caterer.
ReplyDeletehey is this the blind about the father being an ex boyfriend because he said alleged father
ReplyDeleteKnm2003, I had the same thought. Ent has made references like that a few times now, the blind has to be about them.
ReplyDeleteyeah i just want to know who the father is but if the child comes out mix we differently will know then
ReplyDeleteAt the risk of calling down the wrath of Xenu on my head, what I want to know is when JLo drank the Koolaid and went Scientologist?
ReplyDeleteI know her father is, and the majority of the people she associates with are, (Cruise and Remini immediately come to mind), however I do seem to remember a statement she made about *not* being one. When did this change?
I'm wondering which ex-boyfriend, hopefully not Ben Affleck but I wouldn't be surprised.
ReplyDeleteIf I was marred to Marc Anthony I think I'd get a sperm donor as well - but certainly not a Xenu one
ReplyDeleteAt the risk of being deleted--a silent birth does not mean any of the crap you listed. Geez no wonder everyone is thinking there is something bizarre. A silent birth means that there aren't a lot of distractions in the room--like drs discussing the game, or nurses discussing the hottie in emergency. The mother is allowed to screech as loud as she pleases, it's just the atmosphere around her is quiet.
ReplyDeletea) i had heard not a peep about this..very interesting
ReplyDeleteb) alleged father..does this mean what i think it does?
c) diddy, affleck, who could it be!?
i'm a little stoned right now, so hopefully this makes sense..
how salacious!
Ent,
ReplyDeleteI am going to blame you when I have a nightmare that involves Tom Cruise, childbirth, and Marc Anthony's greatest hits.
Also,
HAHAHAHHA! Excellent Post!
j-lo is not scientology. she dabbled in it but is not a follower. she is catholic and the twins will likely be c-section anyway.
ReplyDeleteskeletor has 2 or three kids with dayonara torres.
jennifer had trouble getting pregnant for many reasons, she has been trying for a year.
I don't think Scientology lets you "dabble" - you're either in or you're not.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine Leah Remini keeping quiet about anything ever, let alone, childbirth...
ReplyDeletenurse - twins = vitro / just ask J Roberts....
ReplyDeletebrendalove,
ReplyDeleteshe went to a couple of classes and read some books on it and decided not to.
and your right, she had invitro.
nursekelly is right, Marc has a young girl from way back when and two boys with the ex miss universe, and there were lots of talk about Jennifer having trouble getting pregnant, so I think maybe Marc had a vasectomy and tried to reverse after hooking up with J-Lo but didn't quite work so they tried invitro and that's why it took so long and why they are twins OR, she got knocked up by someone else as a last resort for her because he had three kids. And I know he's very religious so I don't see him getting into the cult and I think Jennifer started getting into it to get pregnant.
ReplyDelete