Monday, December 10, 2007

Today's Blind Items

This is a problem I encounter frequently doing this. I find out something I know all of you will salivate for, but there is just no way to describe the person. What do you do when someone is someone you would recognize, but you don't know their name? You know their film and work, and you love them, but their name is fuzzy. The person is B list based on their work, and you would all recognize him from his films because he is very unique looking. I guess I can say he does primarily comedies. When someone first started telling em this, I actually thought it was going to go the other way. Anyway, it seems that our actor spends a great deal of his income on two specific hookers. Now, despite his looks our actor has no problems getting women, he just has a certain kink that only these two can provide. Never simultaneously mind you. This is one on one. Seems our boy could be the poster boy for being dominated. He picked these two particularly large women because he enjoys being tied, whipped, beaten, any any other thing you can imagine. Yes. Anything you can imagine. The problem is that he is getting addicted to it, and beginning to become permanently scarred. He sees one of the two almost every night and is spending about $10,000-15,000 a week on this habit. Plus, he has been so beat up and sore lately that he has missed several meetings and has lost at least one very high paying job as a result.


83 comments:

  1. When there is no way to describe the person, personally, i would just give their name!

    Anyway, how about Steve Buscemi? He is one of those always recognizable people. A lot of comedies, but does also have the Sopranos, so who knows?

    This is a hard one.

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  2. DJ Qualls?
    'Unique-looking' for sure.

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  3. John C. Riley? Although he has an oscar nod so he may be considered A?

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  4. buscemi is who came to my mind first too, for no real reason.

    eerie.

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  5. chrisopher lloyd? no trouble getting women,unique look, comedies,everyone knows him and his movies but probably not his name (most people).

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  6. $10 - $15K a week? If any one of these two women get tired, I'm looking for a part-time job...

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  7. Cyn, I couldn't have said it better myself. I'd beat the crap outta him in no time. And then pee on his wounds for no extra charge.

    I have no idea who this is. Ent, I think ur getting vaguer and vaguer each passing day.

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  8. I'm guessing Clint Howard, Ron Howard's brother and his frequent employer. Ron's production company is Imagine Entertainment.

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  9. Maybe I'm jaded, but this could be any number of "playahs" in Hollywood -- look at Charlie Sheen and his hooker addiction -- and any number of directors, producers, high rollers, etc.

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  10. I don't think Buscemi does that many comedies, although he is very unique looking.

    First thought was Clint Howard, definitely unique, but not B-list. How about Hugo Weaving?

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  11. Clint Howard's IMDB resume looks like a mix of all kinds of genres. Definitely does not stand out as "primarily comedy".

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  12. dijea, check out imdb. Steve Buscemi does a ton of comedies. The only other person I can think of is Don Lake, but I think Buscemi fits the bill more.

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  13. Drew Carey. There have been reports before about how he likes Hookers to dominate him.

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  14. Buscemi TOTALLY came to my mind first and only. I've mostly only seen him in comedies lately with Sanders, but then I considered him funny in Desperado.

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  15. maybe he does do more comedies, maybe I just watch the non-comedies. But, I've never thought of him as one who you recognize but don't know there name.

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  16. Buscemi came to mind as soon as I read "unique looking", 'cause that's definetely a way to describe Steve.

    What about another Sandler friend, Allen Covert? He's been in Little Nicky, 50 first dates, Chuck & Larry and many more.

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  17. Dijea, actually, he's more like someone I DON'T recognize....in half his movies anyway. He always looks weird, but different.

    You're probably smarter than the average person when it comes to actors. I think mainstream America wouldn't know who Buscemi is.

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  18. This one is kinda disturbing.
    Anyway, the clue "unique looking" makes me think that it's Steve Buscemi.

    I think most people know who he is since he appears in some high profile films as well as gross-out comedies aimed at teenage boys.

    Allen Covert is a good guess too!

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  19. What about Rob Schneider? Unique looking, does comedy only, maybe b-list, and he is recognizable, but his name doesn't come immediately to mind. Wouldn't it be funny/sad if it were Vern Troyer? But he's a d-lister for sure.

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  20. I just read through the blind again, and it seems that EL is saying people would recognize him, but he also says something about not knowing his name.
    So yes, we'd all recognize SB, but not necessarily know his name.

    In other words, I think we're all saying the same thing.

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  21. I think almost everyone would recognize Buscemi in name and face. He's a bit iconic.

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  22. I'm hoping (or not, poor guy just lost a job 'cause of his kink) to see a "random" pic of Steve B later this week...

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  23. Why in the world couldn't Buscemi's identity be hidden by calling him a "quirky, indie actor?" Or saying that Clint Howard is a "C-list actor at best?"

    No, I think this BI must be about somebody who is more than just "offbeat looking" and can only be described in a certain way. What about Verne Troyer (aka Mini Me)?

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  24. Anonymous3:26 PM

    Marty Feldman.

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  25. I don't think it's Steve Buscemi, he has been known for much too long and there are many movies where I don't remember anything from the plot or how he was named but I know there was this fine scene with Buscemi.

    DJ Qualls looks a good guess but it could also be Joel Moore, the guy with the long face from "Dodgeball" who's also done "Grandma's Boy", "Art School Confidential" and many small parts in other comedies.

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  26. The first name that came to my head was Seth Rogen. He's B-list, has done a lot of comedies, and people comment on his strange looks a lot.

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  27. First thought was Crispin Glover.

    After reading everyone's comments though, it does seem to fit Steve Buscemi. The only hesitation is that I do think mainstream America would know his name.

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  28. OT - Does this remind anyone of #4 from last Fridays Blinds?

    Lainey:
    Some stars you look at with blinders on. She is for me one of those stars. But the glassy eyes are hard to excuse. And the thinnification too. Thinnification to get back to work and in her case assisted by good old cocaine which she apparently did in copious amounts on sets through summer and fall to stay alert and focused and un-hungry. Which is apparently always something she’s dabbled in, only before she was able to actually stop between gigs.

    This time however, even though she’s wrapped, she’s taken to taking it home, wreaking havoc in her family life and bringing on serious bouts of depression. After a particularly painful episode with a very young, very innocent witness, she finally went for help. The good news is she knows she needs to stop. And she has a supportive partner behind her. Word is, to avoid public scandal, she’s fighting the beast at home during the holidays under professional supervision.

    Wonderful news indeed.

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  29. Anonymous4:17 PM

    Kara - I WOULD guess Angelina - supportive partner, young "witness" - but what I gather from the blind is that this person was using it to lose weight, and Angelina was always thin. Not as thin as she is NOW of course, but still always quite thin. I'D LOVE to know who it is... ;)


    AS for this blind, I gotta agree with those who say it isn't Steve Buscemi based on name recognition. Personally I don't know ANYONE who DOESN'T know Steve Buscemi by name. That's just me & my world of course, but yeah, most people I know would totally know who he is, faec AND name.

    Gotta say though, the idea of skinny tiny Buscemi being dominated by some...larger ladies...is pretty funny...LOL

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  30. The Verne Troyer guess..is..interesting. I kind of like the logic behind it.

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  31. This almost has to be character actor not someone like Paul Giamatti who's well know, plus married - a wife would notice the missing money and cuts and bruises. Like 3rd to 5th billed in a production - you'd know his face but... not quite the name. Verne Troyer has many affects of his dwarfism, brittle bones being one of them, which is why he uses a wheelchair frequently. I doubt he could survive one beating, never mind nearly daily ones. I am guessing the guy is in peak physical condition, in his late 20's or 30's.

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  32. Also, could Vern Troyer really afford up to $15,000 a WEEK on his kink?

    He went on that celebrity reality show for cash...and he hasn't had THAT many good gigs.

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  33. One thing that makes me think MAYBE SB (as far as recognizing him, but not knowing his name), is that for years I always referred to him as "Mr. Pink", & never could remember his real name. Of course, I know what it is now, but he'll forever be "Mr. Pink" to me b/c of that awful movie. :)

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  34. lainey's- trying to stay alert and loose weight....sounds like some one who just had a baby..naomi watts? marcia cross?

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  35. my vote's on Buscemi. He's the first that popped into my head after I read the blind.

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  36. i though buscemi too... crazy!

    but i couldn't name an actual character he's done(just 'that guy from fargo' or something), can you?

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  37. (Just wanted to note that I was referring to Buscemi's character in Reservoir Dogs: Mr. Pink)

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  38. Ellen, the guy from the Wedding Singer and the homeless guy from Big Daddy. You're right - we don't know the character's names, he's always "the guy"....lol.

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  39. My very first thought was DJ Qualls. I didn't know him by name and had to look him up. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE knows Steve Buscemi by name. It's not him.

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  40. I have no good guesses, but I would like to counter the Steve Buscemi guess as I know his name when I see him and that's because of Mr. Pink, which is why I don't think of him as a comedic actor. Although after searching IMDB, it is apparent that he has done a good amount of comedy*

    Here are some reasons why:

    He's married - not a deal breaker in this town.

    He is currently filming 2 movies - one is just his voice.

    He has 2 more lined up for 2009.

    * Author's note: The Big Lebowski is one of the best movies of all time and hell would freeze over before I watched an Adam Sandler movie.

    To me, the most telling part of the BI is When someone first started telling em this, I actually thought it was going to go the other way. . I take from that, EL thought it was someone who like to dominate, not be dominated, so a kind of tough guy?

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  41. Eugene Levy. Giamatti is A-. Buscemi isn't B list, also more like A- and he's a director now too, Clint Howard isn't B list, he's z, Drew Carey we've already covered, Qualls is also C list.

    BTW, did anyone see on Perez that vid of James Franco? He's obviously completely high, and the answer to a drug blind from a few weeks ago, I think.

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  42. Sarah, no way is Buscemi A-. I also think Eugene Levy is more known than SB, but that's because I polled eleven people earlier and only five of them knew who Steve Buscemi was. Everyone I know saw American Pie, so they'd know Levy.

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  43. Chris Penn or Joe Pantoliano or Artie Lange? Just throwing out names...

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  44. I automatically thought of Steve Buscemi as well, but just for fun, I'm going to throw Christopher McDonald in the pot.
    Ole Shooter Mcgavin has been in many comedies and it took me a long time to recognize his name. His face, though, is unmistakable. However, I find him attractive, but some may not. I guess you could call him unique looking. He is also 6'3", so that could explain the "I thought it would go the other way" comment in regards to someone being dominated.

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  45. Chris Penn died last year sadly, so it's highly doubtful he'd be in blind item.

    It's not going to be a married man either.

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  46. @Sarah: I saw the vid but I don't think that Ent tends to make a huge deal about pot smoking in his BI's (compared to coke, meth, etc).

    is the link to the vid:
    http://www.mtv.com/overdrive
    /?vid=194380

    He's definitely stoned but for whatever reason I think its HILARIOUS!

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  47. The 1st person who came to mind was Luis Guzman.....def unique looking (READ: FUGLY) but he is in a ton of movies, had a very short-lived comdey show on TV and yet nobody knows who he is but when you see him you totally recognize him.
    although he is married....

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  48. Anonymous11:27 PM

    I'm hung up on ENT saying that when someone first started telling him about this, he thought it would go the other way.

    Did he mean he thought our unusual looking B list actor would be the one doling out the beatings?

    If so, then it has to be someone with more of a menacing look or someone cast as a hardass character.

    If that is what ENT was hinting at. I don't know. I had two shots of Tequila and I could be lying to myself by now xoxoxx

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  49. Anonymous11:35 PM

    Creepers - I just thought it was John Tuturro, who is, I believe, one of our finest actors. Ever.

    So he isn't B list to me. He's A list. But he is just the kind of actor a lot of people wouldn't know by name, even though they've seen him in a bazillion movies.

    Oh well. It's not him. He's married with 2 children. But it would make all those Sopranos scenes with Aida and "Ralph" all the more unsettling . .

    Best not go there.

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  50. Darnit, I was just about to guess Carrot Top (who's known to enjoy hookers) - but then he only did that one film, right? And that he never appeared in another movie again?

    Got to be a Hey! It's That Guy type, though...

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  51. Steve Buscemi's name is very well-known. He went down to Ground Zero to volunteer to help the firefighters after 9/11 (he's a former NYC firefighter). Everybody there knew who he was. Even my mother-in-law's cousin who was there knew his name and she doesn't know anyone (she calls their ex-mayor Julian Rudiani - and no, I'm not joking and neither is she).

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  52. Okay, based on ENT's statement that he thought this was going to go the other way, and the suggestions that we look for a tough guy, what about someone like The Rock? He's easily recognizable, and primarily does comedies, but how many people know his actual name? It's a stretch, I know.

    My initial thought was Napoleon Dynamite.

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  54. It's probably not Steve Buscemi. He lives in my neighborhood and has about as normal a life as one can imagine. No movie star behavior or scandals there.
    Same goes for Paul Giamatti, who is totally down to earth and nice, works very hard and has a pretty normal and happy family life as far as I know.
    I just can't imagine it being either of them.
    Would love to know who it is though.
    I kinda like the Verne Troyer idea.
    How about the guy who does the clear eyes commercials..... we know him from "Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?"....forgot his name.

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  55. This has to be a character actor and not a recognized personality and face, like The Rock or Steve Buscemi or even Carrot Top (!). I like the Eugene Levy guess (he's one of those guys that most people love and find funny and recognize, plus he might have that kind of cash). I have to question how anyone would be privy to this detailed information, however! Do all hookers call Ent to report about their clients, or what?!

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  56. HHmmm...Ben Stein. Interesting. But I'm wondering if people do know his name, given he had a show with his name on it (Win Ben Stein's Money) that was a hit for a while.

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  57. First thought was DJ Qualls as well, road trip was hilarious

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  58. I am thinking some one along the lines of Jeffrey Tambor

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  59. or William Fichtner or Richard Jenkins.

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  60. d said Artie Lange! I so LOVE that answer! But, as he's so open with his life on the Stern show, I'd be shocked - and impressed - if this was him!

    But I loved that answer!

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  61. What about William H. Macy? Would he be considered B list?

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  62. Its not Dj Qualls..have any of you seen his girlfriend??? hello?

    Steve Buscemei is WAY to well known for this.

    My guess is Peter Dante from ALL the Andam Sandler movies and Grandma's Boy. And if you just asked yourself "who is that?" then you're on the right track..lol
    IMO.

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  63. I didn't know Artie Lange was on the Stern show, and that makes me retract my guess. He is primarily a radio guy now, and anyone who listens to Howard Stern would know his name...

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  64. more names, all former SNL alums, all "interesting" looking.

    Jon Lovitz
    Jimmy Fallon
    Chris Kattan

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  65. Absolutely the first thing that came to my mind was Wayne Knight (Newman from Seinfeld).
    Unique looking is a kind way to describe him... and I can't think of him having been in anything other than comedies.
    It doesn't specify that he has only done films, so could this be a possibility? Also, I had to look it up on IMDB to find out what his real name is, so there you go.

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  66. Ben Stein, among many other achievements, was Richard Nixon's speechwriter and lawyer, as later as well for Gerald Ford. He was suspect number one for the secret identity of Deep Throat during the Watergate scandal.

    Wait . . . young people only think you are famous if you are on teevee . . .

    Crap. I'm OLD.

    SO now I'm thinking menacing/bad guy character actor type from a lot of comedies. Someone who plays the a-hole you can't wait for the funny guy to best? Maybe?

    I'm diggin.

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  67. Luis Guzman?!? But he's married...

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  69. wayne knight was also in jurassic park.
    @brendalove... i hope you're joking, girlfriend! marty's been gone a VERY long time!
    i'm getting character actor out of this, too. not levy, or SB.
    acetomatolabs, don't feel old. i knew that little tidbit, too.

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  70. first name that popped in my head was jack black

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  71. Jack Black isn't B list or an unknown.

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  72. Even I remember Steve Buscemi's name and that means something.

    I also think it's someone less normal-looking than we all think and Mini-Me or Professor Flitwick from the Harry Potter movies [I think it's the same guy] was the first I thought of.

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  73. Guys, it can't be Steve Buscemi. I go with those who say they don't know anyone who would NOT know Steve Buscemi by name.

    And to you, Kara: What about Liv Tyler? She just talked about how she fought to lose her baby weight - and her son Milo could be the "very young witness"...

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  74. Anonymous7:50 AM

    schnee, I was watching the opening credits of Sweeney Todd (online at broadwayworld.com, thanks to Perez, I know, lame me bad bad, sick the two ladies from this blind on me). And Timothy Spall came to mind, he was Wormtail in Harry Potter. Definitely has made a zillion movies, I can never remember his name. Very unique-looking.

    He's married, but there's nothing in the blind that I see that says they have to be single.

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  75. For Lainey's blind, I vote for Uma. Lainey has alluded to her glassy eyes lately.

    The kinky boy - no idea.

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  76. How about Paul Reuben/Pee Wee Herman? He's definitely unique looking.
    But, everyone on the planet knows who he is. Just taking a guess.

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