Ryan Reynolds Prepares For Ass Kicking

Ever wanted to know what really goes on in a celebrity relationship? Ever want to know who is the ass in the relationship? Did someone cheat on the other? Most of the time unless someone needs some cash, we really don't get the nitty gritty details. This of course doesn't hold true if you are the ex-boyfriend of Alanis Morissette. Alanis' new album is due out in the spring and it promises to be a return to the roots that made her successful. What made her a success was of course trashing the absolute loving crap out of Davie Coulier and that Toronto hockey player. When Alanis had no one to trash he albums ended up at the dollar store quicker than Paris Hilton takes her Valtrex.

If I were Ryan Reynolds, and obviously I am not because if I were, I would be staring at my body in the mirror and not blogging about him, than I would be worried. Ryan my friend. If you even did one thing wrong to Alanis the whole world will know about it. If you cheated on her, hit her, or even cussed at her, you will be vilified. No matter how many hit movies you appear in and no matter how much you display Scarlett to the world, Alanis' songs will be playing over and over and over all over the world and after each song, some wiseass DJ will say something bad about you. In every language and country of the people of the world, everyone will know if Ryan Reynolds was the ass in the relationship or if it was just a relationship that didn't work.

There are some teasing hints from Alanis. "Moratorium," which is "essentially a song about my readiness to stop repeating bad patterns. I've kicked some of those in my life," she said. "We face a large war out there, but (the album) more closely reflects the war in peoples' living rooms... the icy silence at home, versus the big cold war."

Good luck Ryan. You are going to need it.