National Enquirer Says Jennifer Aniston Is Pregnant

Is Jennifer Aniston pregnant? I don't know and honestly I don't care. I'm tired of her and her neurotic behavior. She spends so much time with the Arquettes that I am beginning to think Courteney Cox went gay on us and David Arquette just sits there and watches and whittles. I know, but in my imagination David seems like a whittler. I could co go with model airplane builder or glue sniffer as alternatives if you think those would be better. The photos above were taken on December 24th. I don't know when the Enquirer published, but I do know they used a two month old photo from that movie set where Jen looked more haggish than usual.

The one thing besides the big bulge in this outfit is the fact that Jennifer's thighs seem much larger than normal and she is smiling. Jen smiling is more rare than a laugh on the Carson Daly show. She actually is smiling and red faced and I don't think it is just the booze. Well if she is pregnant I hope it isn't any booze. Just ice tea, but of course it would have to be decaffeinated ice tea. Maybe she just drank milk. She could have just been happy because the Arquettes actually talked to her for the first time in a month. If anyone knows if Jen is pregnant it is going to be David, Courteney, or Brad Pitt's mom. No one else. Not even the guy who got her pregnant probably knows unless of course it is David, then he probably knows because she told him. But no one else.