Jessica Alba Is An Idiot
Has Jessica Alba learned nothing from the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline debacle? Yes, I have no doubts that Jessica Alba will be a better parent than Britney Spears or Kevin Federline combined, but to get pregnant by Cash Warren is one of the most idiotic things she could have possibly done.
"Hi, I'm Jessica Alba. Yes, I let Cash get me pregnant because I think what our relationship needs to succeed is a child. I know we have our ups and downs and that we are broken up as much as we are together, but I know that a baby will solve all of that. It will bring us closer together and all of our problems and all of his cheating will just go away once that baby is born. I know it will make him grow up. Sure, I know that I will be the one waking up in the middle of the night to take care of the baby because he is out with his friends. I know I will be the one sacrificing my career since he doesn't really work anyway. Yes, I know it will be one more mouth for me to support and of course I will have to pay for the nannies, and extra help and also the larger place we will need to live in and the furniture that goes with it. But, I know it will bring us closer together.
It's true that at some point down the road we may break up, or even get married and divorced, but I will happily give him one half of everything I have and pay him support for when he has the child. I just hope it is a boy so he can use women and sponge off them and I'll even call him Cash Jr. so that way I will have cash with me forever. I hope he is just like his dad."
That's exactly what I thought when I read the happy news on people.com.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
ReplyDeleteNot gonna lie; I have been waiting all morning for Ent to post about this!
ReplyDeletegamma girl, i am right there with ya .. i read it on lainey and came right over here ...:)
ReplyDeleteAs I sit back, reclined in my chair in my sauna-like place. The cat is lying across my torso with his head nuzzled into my arm. I had to ruin this tranquility to write you must be fucking kidding me! This is supposed to be one of the most beautiful women in the world and he cheats on her? With who? Doesn't she know that she can get just about ANYBODY. If she can't keep a man, then who can? How friggin' stupid is she?
ReplyDeleteNote to self- Never date a man named after something he has none of..or the means to get it.
ReplyDeleteI personally am going to enjoy wathcing Alba's ass get massive.
What a f***ing idiot! What is with all the stupid women out there?
ReplyDeleteJax--
ReplyDeleteso if a man is named Dick.....?????
hello kitty - if a man's named Dick, you send him down gay way. ;)
ReplyDeleteI just think that Ms. Alba felt that it was a way to guarantee being in the pap's eye for 9 months (see Nic Richie). Didn't we think she was the blind that was cheating on the opposite coast from the cheating boyfriend?
I'm with you on that, gammagirl.
ReplyDeleteJessica can have practicaly any man she wants to and she sticks with a cheating dickhead. There's no hope in the world, is there?
ReplyDeleteOy vey.
BTW, Ent, Tracee and I will be opening our dominatrix service soon and we're taking advance reservations..
Oh, Jessica.
ReplyDeleteJust because getting pregnant may be the trendy thing to do, doesn't mean you should do it.
I know, I know. You don't have any friends and your loser boyfriend cheats on you, but...
A baby isn't gonna make everything all better.
You're probably thinking,
"OMG. A baby will idolize me and love me and do whatever I say. I should, like, totally have a baby!"
Oh well.
You're a lost cause anyway and I can't wait to watch your ass grow too. Hee Hee!
I don't know how someone as shallow and bitchy as you will be able to handle it.
How incredibly sad.
ReplyDeleteI don't think her ass will get big, because as a former anorexic she probably won't allow it to.
I really must not have been cc'd on the memo that no one is using birth control these days.
ReplyDeleteOh...that's right, forgot about her cheating BI. So, it's not Cash' baby then?
ReplyDeleteHey green sea,
ReplyDeleteI just found out I AM preggo and I used two forms of BC. there is something in the water...or we are modern miracles...who knows.
EL--
ReplyDeletewill you now revel which of the bi's covered this little mishap???
@Green Sea: For real! Is there some kind of 'Knocked-up' effect that twentysomething women need to be educated about?
ReplyDeleteSo is this baby gonna be called Cash Jr. or 25 cent?
ReplyDeleteI know nothing about this Cash guy, but by the looks of him, Jessica could have done so much better.
ReplyDeleteI must admit, I was flabbergasted when I read the news this morning, I know Jessica is not a Mensa member, but damn, a girl like her does not get pregnant at the PRIME of her life and career, especially with a guy that so many people seem to dislike.
I'm sure she'll be a great parent to her kid, but homegirl will be raising it by herself eventually.
Maybe he put some pinholes in *his* condom (see: NBA hoochies)
ReplyDeleteHey girls -
ReplyDeleteFor those who might not be aware, don't take any type of antibiotic, drink herbal teas, or take herbal supplements (especially St John's Wort) while relying upon a hormone-based form of birth control like The Pill. Some even say garlic supplements might be dangerous because garlic is nature's #1 natural antibiotic. (I think it's still okay eating it in food, at least, I hope!)
Doctors always "forget" to tell their female patients when they are busy prescribing them antibiotics that the antibiotics screw up the birth control pill's effects, big-time. And you need to give your body plenty of time after you go off the antibiotic to get back into the swing of things. You know how when you first go on the Pill they say you should use a back up form of protection for at least two months because it takes that long to get a consistent blood level of The Pill in your system and to acclimate your cycle to The Pill? Well, since antibiotics and herbal supplements totally negate the Pill, you have to 1) go off the antibiotic or herbal supplement and then 2) stay on The Pill for at least two months while using backup the whole time.
Failing to follow this procedure has resulted in many happy - and unhappy - accidents.
J
lets not talk about pregnancy germs being in the water....
ReplyDeletei don't want to get pregnant again lol
I love my two kids, but pregnancy for me, totally sucks. meh
my nephew is a St. John's babay...and his brother was a Vasectomy baby. LOL..some kids were just meant to be.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the headline on TMZ, I came straight here to see what was said, lol...
ReplyDeleteBut it instantly made me feel very, very sad. I usually dont give a shit one way or another about celebs and their babies, but seriously, this one hurt to read. It hurts to know another woman out there is letting a guy like that, have his cake and eat it too. I feel so bad for her, because she's too stupid to know any better.
Who is she kidding? That is Fitty's baby. Not that that will matter to Cash...as long as he's getting paid and shit.
ReplyDeletei don't feel 'bad' for her..for all we know this could be planned.
ReplyDeletei highly doubt that vain bitch would get knocked up well before he career shriveled up and died along with her "serious acting" body...but who knows. she could be just like those ho's trying to keep a man by getting pregnant.
I think the fault here is assuming that Jessica Alba had sense to begin with. I have a feeling she has a good PR team that hides a lot of her actions. All of the inside information and leaks on her isn't good at all.
ReplyDeleteHow to live in a trailer park Jessica Alba-style:
ReplyDelete1. Get knocked up by a no-talent hanger-on loser.
(CHECK)
2. Marry the loser who knocked you up and look forward to supporting him while his beer belly grows.
(CHECK)
3. Rely on your boobs rather than learning how to act.
(CHECK)
4. Make stupid comments about someone (Bill O'Reily) who has over 40 hours per week to respond to your stupidity and make you the fool you are.
(CHECK)
5. Work on being forgotten as fast as my boobs drop.
(CHECK)