As pointed out in the comments by Mooshki, Jessica Simpson's new film will be released in 8 theaters in Texas on December 21st. Ummm. Am I missing something here? Yes, Jessica Simpson was born in Texas, and still has family in Texas. Her dad "preached" in Texas and Jessica is currently hexing the Dallas Cowboys.
So, did some movie studio guy say, "hey, let's throw that piece of crap of movie down there in Texas and maybe some stupid people will wander in thinking it's that Madonna film, or when everything else is sold out they will come on in. Hell isn't that Luke Wilson kid from Texas also? Hell, everyone will want to see it."
So people in Texas will support Jessica Simpson by spending their hard earned money on a piece of crap film because she comes to Texas for the holidays? People will just walk up top the box office and say, "Hi, I know I am a dumb ass idiot, but we need to show Jessica our support and throw a few bucks into her daddy's pocket because she comes to Texas for Thanksgiving." Plus she's dating Tony Romo. I know she is the worst luck that has ever happened to a team, but maybe if we spend some money on the film, she will go back to Los Angeles and leave Tony alone."
What you have here is someone with a clause in their contract (Jessica) who gets a theatrical release. That way they can say it wasn't straight to DVD, and not have to lower their price for Jessica's "acting" services. Meanwhile, Pimpa does the whole Eva Longoria/Tony Parker thing with Jessica/Tony to get people in Texas willing to support Jessica. Of course he didn't plan on Tony having the worst game of his career with Jessica in the stands. Hopefully Jessica took care of him under the stands with Pimpa "making sure no one comes."
Anyway, here come the Razzies. They don't even need to nominate anyone else. They can even create awards out of thin air and just keep calling out Jessica Simpson's name.
texas voted to elect Goerge W. Bush 4 times. that means texans are at least twice as stupid as the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteI'm more than happy to jump on the "texas sucks!" bandwagon, but there are phenomenally dumb people everywhere.
ReplyDeleteI went to the same elementary school as Miss South Carolina ("some people don't have maps") so it really pissed me off when people assumed that all people from the south are THAT ignorant.
The real problem is that a studio believed Jessica was capable of carrying a film.
not all texans are stupid! i was born and raised here and i have to say that some of us are ashamed of the people our state produces...
ReplyDeleteand jessica needs to get the hell away from tony romo. way to ruin a great season, jess. romo played worse than he has ever played on sunday because your dumb ass was in the stadium...the cowboys lost to the eagles last year, too...and who was in the stadium then? carrie underwood!
In all fairness, he didn't play bad because she was there. She's not smart enough to hex anyone.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of hex, how come Hez doesn't post anymore???
Nobody elected GWB. Nobody. Never. Ever. If you still think anybody counted votes and said he won you need to go back and check yourself.
ReplyDeleteNobody ever elected GWB. And people have been stealing elections since the beginning of time.
You can't blame GWB on the people. You just can't.
Texas was just the test bed. The test bed for stealing elections. The test bed for banking schemes. The test bed for the housing crash. Check out Texas history 1980-1990. It's very sad.
/rant (sorry, it's not like me)
Despite what others assume, Texans are not stupid. -- Right, ENT? Didn't you spend some formative years in Texas? -- They are fiercely proud and supportive of fellow Texans who reach beyond the state for success, be it in the arts or in politics. So, the studio execs assume they can open this movie in Texas theatres because Simpson and Wilson still have strong ties to the state, and it appeases Simpson.
ReplyDeleteNow what Jessica Simpson needs to do to salvage any hope of a career is to: fire her father as her manager, hire a PR dynamo, search for a stylist guru and reinvent herself.
On her personal life, she needs to extricate herself from her father's influence, and stay away from Texas Stadium while the Cowboys are playing. Really. Tony Romo cannot concentrate on a football game while he has a girlfriend in the stadium. He is too distracted. It happened with Carrie Underwood and now it's happened with Jessica Simpson. Please keep Jessica away from Dallas Cowboys games. Let's hope Jerry Jones adds a clause to Romo's contract that bans current and future girlfriends from attending games.
"some said...
ReplyDeletetexas voted to elect Goerge W. Bush 4 times. that means texans are at least twice as stupid as the rest of us."
The first poster pretty much hit the nail right on the head. That's some irrefutable logic right there.
1. Do not blame Texas for Bush's presidency. It did not get Bush elected. It took more electoral votes than just Texas to do that.
ReplyDelete2. I still haven't seen Dukes of Hazzard and never will. Why? Because she's in it.
Don't knock Texas, I was born here, raised here & I'm not so bad. Yes, there are some people who are from Texas and are obnoxious, but there are dummies & dumbsh*ts from other states - trust me on this. Anyone want to talk about Huckabee?
I agree wholeheartedly with some in the first comment above.
ReplyDeleteIf there are any stupid people it's the ones that are ignorant of what they are saying.
ReplyDeleteJust because Bush (father & son) was voted for the Presidency it does not mean he got it from the people from Texas. I was not one to vote for him or his son. Still think both are idiots hahaha.
Regarding Jessica S., boy is she a bimbo. Any movie that this dumb twit comes out I will not waste my time watching it.
and state that would elect Boy George is stupid enough to watch Jessica Shitson
ReplyDeleteJess is too dumb to let go of her father to save her career. She'll never do it.
ReplyDeletePapa Joe built her up, takes care of everything, and she's just going along for the ride.
Why is that jersey PINK????
ReplyDeleteUmmm, I'm sorry but didn't the NATION put that idiot at the head of our country? I bet some of you fucking voted for him too. So don't be waggin the finger at Texans.
ReplyDeleteI'm from Texas and I didn't vote for him once! Not for governor and NOT for Prez, so I think that's a generalization statement right there...like all black people can dance or gay men find all men attractive.
I thought this was well-rounded group of thinkers...obviously I was wrong.
Brendababy, Hez doesn't comment here anymore because there's a bunch of idiots milling around with their fingers up their asses. Just sayin.
wft, haven't you seen all the sports clothing in pink these days to appeal to the "chicks"
ReplyDeletePersonally I would never get caught in a pink jersy - ever.
I HATE PINK!
And Thank You Tracee for the comment one Texan to another.
'm a native Texan, and damn proud of it. Yes, we support SOME fellow Texans that make a name for themselves, but not just anyone, only those that make us proud-you've got to earn our respect & admiration. You'll know if you have NOT earned our respect, but rather, have done something that you deserve to be mocked for, if you show up in "Texas Monthly's" annual "Bum Steer Awards" issue. It is pretty much a list of absurd/idiotic things Texans have done to embarrass the State as a whole (Jessica & ANS have each been cover girls).
ReplyDeleteI have ALWAYS been extremely ashamed that blonde airhead is from this great State. Funny how when her career is totally bombing, & in an attempt to gain some kind of popularity, she's suddenly felt the need to "return to her roots". She's going to be surprised when she's not welcomed back w/ open arms-at least not by those of us with any sense. Willie, who've I've always adored, has lost a ton of my respect just for being associated with her. And, as a country music fan, I feel he'll lose a lot of cred if he really does help her with her country album (my God, what a joke that's going to be).
People in Dallas or Abilene may want to go see her movie, if only b/c that's where she was born/grew up (though, I guarantee none of them will be over the age of 14). But no one outside the Dallas/Ft Worth area is going to waste a cent on that talentless moron. (I mean no offense to anyone from Dallas-I actually love the city & am sorry y'all have to be associated with her! ;) )
Okay I know I'm in the minority here but I don't understand why Ent and so many posters hate this girl. She's just a bimbo who really isn't worthy of so much hatred.
ReplyDeleteAnd how did the election of George W Bush get into this topic?!
Dear Tony Romo,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for f@#$ing up this weekend. Glad to see somebody else's quarterback behaving like an idiot.
Signed,
a loyal Philadelphia Eagles Fan
heh