Taking advantage of the recent World Series win for the Boston Red Sox, the success of the New England Patriots, and the resurrection of the Boston Celtics, Jessica Simpson hopes to bring it all crashing down, by declaring that she is going to find a guy from Boston and date him. Confusing Mississippi with Massachusetts, Jessica told Extra, "I need a Boston man. A Boston man is closest to a Southern man, I believe."
Yea, I remember just last week the redneck in Alabama was talking about how his Prius was wicked good.
I wouldn't be surprised if Pimpa has coughed up a few bucks to Tom Brady and paid him to take Jessica out for a dinner or two just to get some headlines for his daughter and an autographed football for himself. An autographed football doesn't seem like to bad of a price for pimping out your kid. He did get two tickets to a football game for pimping her out to Tony Romo, but he wasn't as big then. In order to sweeten the deal he probably threw in a happy ending either from Jessica or himself (well he will be watching anyway won't he?)
The curse of the Bambino was lifted in Boston, BUT, the curse of the Whoreino will be placed upon all your sports teams if anyone in Boston goes out with Jessica Simpson. It will only be lifted if Jessica has a number one album or a number one movie, so essentially it will be in place for all of time.
Jessica Simpson giving her Dad a hand job...pretty nasty don't you think EL?
ReplyDeleteCome on does she really deserve that?
I'm starting to feel sorry for her. She seems like a people pleaser type of person.
ReplyDelete_-_=_, me too. And just because her father is a major douchebag doesn't mean all the attacks on her are justified.
ReplyDeleteAs a native Bostonian, I am insulted. No self-respecting Boston man would sleep with a dimwit like her.
ReplyDeleteOh and by the way, I married a Southern man. We are polar opposites. A Southern man is closest to a Southern man. Jessica you are WICKED RETARDED!
(for memory sake)
"A Boston man is closest to a Southern man"
ReplyDeleteWTF?
Kelly, remember, this was a woman who asked if Chicken of the Sea was chicken or tuna.
ReplyDeleteI don't care who she "dates" as long as she stays the hell away from Owen. I can't decide which would lower my opinion of his intelligence more - if he was dating her or if he was thinking about being in a movie with her.
ReplyDeleteI don't think she deserves the whore label...a fame whore, maybe. But otherwise I don't understand that dig.
ReplyDeleteShe is a people pleaser-to a fault. That's partly why she hasn't become the best at any ONE thing-like she wants to be remembered for...
but she's a hell of a business woman-she has branded herself and is raking in the $$$$
too bad she still can't get happy since the divorce thou