Flat Chested? Judy Blume Has The Answer
Salma Hayek has revealed for the first time that as a youngster she was very slow in developing breasts. As a result, she was constantly teased about them at school. What is a Catholic school girl to do? Why pray to God of course. Salma says, "My mom and I stopped at a church during a road trip we were making from our home in Mexico. "When we went inside, I prayed for the miracle I wanted to happen. I put my hands in holy water and said: 'Please God, give me some breasts'. "And he gave me them! Within a few months, I developed a growing spurt, as teenagers do, and I was very pleased with the way I grew outwards."
Now of course it is entirely possible that God enjoys seeing large breasts and schoolgirl outfits. Of course God could also have foreseen that Salma was going to need a little boost of confidence to guide her on the path to fame and stardom. I'm guessing God missed Dogma or else the flat chest would have been back the next day.
For those of you who don't have access to Mexican holy water to wish for larger breasts, I think just re-reading Are You There God, It's Me Margaret will probably do the trick. There is no reason why chanting "I must increase my bust" wouldn't work just as well for you as holy water, and would save the cost of a trip to Mexico in search of the Fountain of Breast Enlargement.
Were her implants the work of God as well?
ReplyDeleteHA! Cleveland must have the same Holy Water.... it worked for me too!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is actually quite old. She told this story on Leno I think a few years ago.
ReplyDeletelooks like she had some more "holy water' in her late 20's as well.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.plasticsergeant.com/home
/celebrity/breast-aug/salma-hayek
i got you now El,no 400lb old ass dude would even have heard of that book let alone knew the context in which you referred to.
ReplyDeleteand no im not saying the blog is written by a women or Hez,who is also a woman.
LOL Jax, that's exactly what I was thinking! Most guys would not know anything about that book. They would know Judy Blume's other one, "Forever" with a torrid sex scene or two.
ReplyDeletelol B- Love all I remeber is the line "it sorda felt like a bee sting"
ReplyDeleteeverytime i got stung by a bee after that which wasn't often, i thought ohhh so that is how it feels...lol.i was 11.
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ReplyDeleteHey, don't knock the talking to God thing. We in Georgia are still waiting for it to rain after the big prayer service on the steps of the capitol building yesterday.
ReplyDeletePeople are really incredible down here.
Am I the only person here who liked Dogma? That movie made the church's point in a way that was completely vile to the church itself and I think that's genius.
ReplyDeleteLadorabelle, I just read an article about some ass who used a ton of water in your state - found here:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/15/us/15water.html?ref=us
This guy should be shot.
twisted sister --
ReplyDeleteThat just makes me sick. Despite the fact that it actually did rain last night for the first time in months, we still are looking at less than 100 days of drinking water. And, honestly, it's a scary thing knowing I might not be able to bathe my kids. There's always bottled water, but -- what a waste! Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
Ladorabelle - I read that it rained, but not enough to help your situation at all. I can't believe this man didn't know about the water shortage, as was claimed. Please, if you can afford to live in a home like that, you're obviously very bright.
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine what it must be like to be facing this with kids. I hope this doesn't sound foolish, but try and make it an adventure for them. Tell them you'll all know what it was like to live in the days of the pioneers. Hopefully, Georgia will get a lot of rain SOON and the worst will be behind you. Sending prayers and good thoughts your way.