CMA Awards

Kellie Pickler gets top spot. Not just because she looks amazing. It is not even the fact that she called me the other day and made me laugh until I cried. Then the crying became real and I had to pull out the Prozac/Percocet combo but it is all good now. Kellie gets the top spot for managing to generate real tears when singing her hit song and getting the most publicity from the show even though she didn't win anything. That earns you the top spot any day. OK, and she also promised to talk dirty to me next time she calls, but I am not holding my breath.
I don't even know who Jake Owen is, but a fake tan and 80's suit takes me back to my glory days, so here you go.
I know Ty Murray is smart, but I swear he looks dumber each time I see his photo which is about once a year when they do these country music things. Does this mean Jessica Simpson will be at it next year? Well at least her breasts are equal. Jewel seems to have one that has deflated.
Dwight Yoakam is the epitome of cool. As long as he keeps his hat on.
I am really beginning to dislike Carrie Underwood, and it is not just the fake hair and the fake songs and the fake personality. I know she has millions of fans. Fine. She is all yours. She will probably find a Mutt Lange guy and go live in Switzerland, although I am hoping she goes more the way of Tanya Tucker and is forced to do a reality show in 20 years to pay all her bills.
This is the American dream. Bucky Covington would still be working at a Dairy Queen if it weren't for American Idol. Instead he has a great career and a woman who only cares about him for his fame and money. That is living people. Congratulations Bucky.
Taylor Swift. 17. For just a little while longer. Of course I remember when everyone was excited that Britney Spears was going to turn 18, including Ben Affleck who paid a little visit to her about a week after. Look how Britney turned out. Taylor Swift can actually sing so I hope that she knows to stay away from guys with names like L-UPS and M-DHL and she should be fine.
"Hey Sheryl Crow. The guy you loved and wrote an entire album about is shacking up with an Olsen twin. How does that make you feel?" Someone on the red carpet asked her that almost exact question. I phrased it a little differently.
One thing Nicole Kidman learned from Tom Cruise is how to appear interested and disinterested at the same time. I think the only reason she hasn't ended it with Keith Urban is that it would crush him, and quite possibly kill him which would result in poor ticket sales for Nicole.
Michelle Branch does a very good job of usually hiding her tattoo, but here is the one photo I could find of it. Is she still married to that 50 year old guy who kind of did the whole Celine Dion thing with her until she got legal?
LeAnn Rimes is always a favorite, and she looks incredible.