Reese Witherspoon Well On Her Way To Being Wife Number 7

As of October 5th, Reese Witherspoon became free to marry other men when her marriage officially ended. Reese and Ryan Phillipe still need to work out details about money (that's the part that makes Ryan smile) and of course custody and visitation. Both Reese and Ryan want shared custody and think they are both happy with the visitation schedule as well so the only sticking point is money. This is where the lawyers really start to make serious money so it will be just a bit longer and a few hundred more billable hours before the parties can reach a settlement, but it will come.

Now that the legal news is out of the way, I think Reese needs to seriously look at being wife #7. My greatest strength is that I have a job. I do have a home, although it is just a basement with a tiny window, it is still my home. I am more man than she has ever had before. Of course that last sentence sounds really hot, but the size I'm talking about is waist line, not below the waist. I kind of got short changed there to tell you the truth. I blame the guy doing the circumcising.

Anyway, I stopped by the butcher on the way to work this morning and weighed in at a crisp 418 pounds which sounds much better in kilos, but I can't do the math. Anyway, that is actually down from my high of 434. I think to have any shot at Reese I need to get down to about 390. She's a bit of a health nut, so 390 should do it for me. I look good at 390. Being 5'9" I carry the 390 really well, especially in the winter when I can wear more clothes. The clothes also hide the body hair which she may find a bit off putting.

Hmmmm. Maybe I should just give up on Reese and concentrate on Natasha Lyonne. She lives on the damn beach. How picky could she be.