Let Me Kiss A Little Lily Allen Ass

I could have been snarky when I heard that Lily Allen fired her management company Empire Management over their failure to break her into the US market. After all, many could say that Lily was primarily at fault because she could not get a visa to perform in the US because of an outstanding assault charge against the singer for an alleged attack on a paparazzi photographer. But, stars are stars and she reportedly blames the management firm for the mix-up.

I could also point out that many British artists fail to catch on in the US despite being bigger than bangers and mash in the UK. A short list would have to include Robbie Williams, Take That, Girls Aloud, and Westlife all of whom are the shit in the UK, but haven't done anything when they tried to break into the US market.

Instead Lily, I'm here to offer my services to you as your US based management representative. I think you have a great deal of talent and not just at drinking. So, if you are interested, just let me know, and for now I will make sure to post only the most flattering photos of you.

For now.