Austin and Jake Break Up

Ooops. My mistake. When I saw that Jake Gyllenhaal was telling everyone that he was now single, I just assumed that he and Austin Nichols broke up. I mean they haven't been hanging around together since Austin got busted for an alleged DUI, and so I figured Jake just decided he needed a more positive influence in his life.

So therefore I was shocked, shocked I tell you that Jake was confessing he was single to a television audience because he recently ended things with Reese Witherspoon. Kneepads Magazine made a big deal of how Jake and Reese didn't even talk to each other at the premiere of Rendition.

It was all part of the script people. The whole Reese and Jake thing was supposed to play out in an entirely different manner. It was supposed to be this torrid love affair with them meeting in hotels across the world and taking them right through the press for Rendition. The only problem was no one bought the damn act. It was as fake as a Paris Hilton smile. When the pair finally realized that the game was going to go nowhere, they just let it die a natural death and at the premiere made it look like there was this bitter breakup.

So, in the words of Jake, "Ah, at this point yes, on behalf of the ladies I’m single." Go for it ladies.