Monday, September 17, 2007

Willie Nelson Can't Say No To Pimpa


Willie Nelson has agreed to write a substantial portion of Jessica Simpson's new album after he was promised a boatload of money to do so. Simpson, whose last album tanked so bad, people still don't know she released one has decided that perhaps rodeos and the county fair circuit will be more to her liking so is switching to country music.

Jessica hopes to be the next Patsy Cline or Shania Twain and has wanted to do a country album since first meeting Willie Nelson while filming Dukes of Hazzard. How she found the time to talk to Willie in between all the screwing she was alleged to have been doing is beyond me, and I'm sure that the country idea really took off when she realized no one was going to buy her pop albums anymore.

Simpson, who grew up in Texas, said of her plans: "My next album is probably going to be with Willie Nelson. I've been wanting to do a country record because it's in my roots."

I actually thought the only thing in her roots was bleach, but I guess if someone is from Texas they can say that country is in their roots also. My guess is Pimpa just wants to stop trying to sell a half naked Jessica to 15 year old boys and girls and instead go for the 35 year old man with the miserable life, the four kids and the boss who hates him and doesn't care as much about the singing as he does in seeing Jessica in as few clothes as possible. Hey, that sounds a great deal like Pimpa.


13 comments:

  1. Really? Guess Pimpa sees all that $$ that Carrie Underwood is making and thinks Jess can do just as well. That's just crazy though.

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  2. Anonymous10:04 AM

    The primo weed that Willie gets must be expensive. See the esquire article "smoking with willie and snoop dogg".

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  3. I read some quotes by pimpa joe regarding this switch to country and what stood out was how he said that "pop" music isn't really a place for vocalists anymore and it's all about beats. He said that country music is the only place for people who wanted to sing. Which wouldn't have caught my snark radar except for the fact that isn't Ashlee still working on "pop" music? He does remember he has two daughters to shill right?

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  4. Anonymous10:13 AM

    is there any way to turn those annoying "live search" flyovers off? I keep inadvertantly mousing over them and aaarrgghhhh - popups.

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  5. Cali - no popups with Firefox.

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  6. Willie...no,no, noooooo. Okay, Willie's smarter than that, what he said yes to was writing her songs while he smokes a bowl and stares at her huge breastesses.

    Good for you Willie, good...for...you.

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  7. khemenu, I guess he is finally admitting that Ashlee isn't a "vocalist"!!!

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  8. Anonymous10:34 AM

    thanks __-__=__. Am using firefox, but when i mouse over the double-underlined words, i still get an annoying little window popping up. Not a traditional popup, which FF does a GREAT job of blocking.

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  9. Anonymous10:38 AM

    oh got it - if you want to disable them, go to one, click on the ? in the upper right corner. It will take you to a Vibrant In-text Advertising page where you can opt to disable them. Close your browser when done and restart and no more annoying little flyover ads! WOOHOO!

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  10. Um, I thought her roots were in Gospel music? Oh yeah, that isn't as lucrative as country could potentially be.

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  11. HEY ENT

    I know this is a little off subject but can you elaborate on the situation with OJ and his arrest (from a legal point of view)?

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  12. Anonymous1:10 PM

    I'm going to take some heat for saying this probably, but most country music fans will buy just about anything. And a good portion of them still buy CDs. It worked for Bon Jovi, so I guess Jessica figures it'll work for her. I hope so, because her pop music audience is GONE.

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  13. 1. Jessica may be from Texas, but I can promise you she's not country. Very few of us Texans actually like the woman, or her creepy father.

    2. Willie wrote "Crazy" and it catapulted Patsy to stardom. He's endured for a very, very long time so he knows what works.

    3. Shania is no more country than Jessica is, or McGraw's bitch wife is. They're pop artists. Please don't slander country music with the likes of them.

    4. All that said, there will be no other Patsy. She is transcendental, one of a kind.

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