Yeah, Hollywood's full of finagling femmes (and dudes), fer sure, but Bored Broomhilda sure takes the conniving cake. Not only has she used men in the past the way I go through adjectives, but now, Broomy's sweet guy has no idea she's, like, totally ready to dump him out with last night's leftover Caesar salad.
And after all this tawk that B.B. was done with her man-mangling ways, what bosh!
Thing is, Bored's babe, an okay honey by the mattress-movin' name of Buzz Thrill, really doesn't have any idea whatsoever he's 'bout to get a stiletto right where he used to get far more supple attention from Ms. B, a pro at the ersatz nooky thang if ever there was one. See, B.B. really does, in the end (as it were), prefer the romantic type o' partner with less protruding genitalia. Hmmm. Does Buzz know he's just been a pawn in B2's masterminding machinations, all along?
Of course he does—he's not that much of a doofus, contrary to popular gab. It's just that, eh, how shall I put this? Like so many women say about gay men, B.T. thought he could change Broomhilda's ways.
What a fool.
Bosh.... Posh?
ReplyDeleteBiel, Johansson?
ReplyDeleteI agree justind, Biel.
ReplyDelete'Ersatz nooky?'
ReplyDeleteWhy does that make me think of Teri Hatcher? Oh yeah, must be that disturbing PR-orchestrated makeout session with Ryan Seacrest outside that restaurant out on PCH.
I think its Biel and Timberlake too.
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely no hint that this is Timberlake, I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteThis could be a few ladies in Hollywood, not just Biel. Besides, I dont by that they don't have the same management company or something and he's just helping a colleague out with her career.
that was supposed to be buy, not by. Oops.
ReplyDeleteAngelina and Brad?
ReplyDeleteKate Hudson and Dax Shepherd.
ReplyDeleteThe and it ain'ts:
ReplyDeleteKate Hudson and dax, Bill and Hill, Elisabeth Hasselbank or whatever her name is.
Odd crowd. All 'political'? I can see why Ted would rule out Kate, as she has been saying how wonderful Dax is. Hillary hasn't had a string of boyfriends! I'm in the UK so i don't know about Elizabeth, except she's a right-wing nut job on some talk show.
Has Condoleesa Rice had many boyfriends?
The ersatz nookie and string of men would certainly fit Angelina, plus she's had a relationship with a woman before. But Brad does look to be devoted to those kids, and it would be stupid to break up the family now it's just got going. Hope it is not them.
ReplyDeleteMs Wonderland, thanks for posting the Ain'ts. I wish EL would.
ReplyDeleteEL - you listening, hon?
YOU KNOW BRAD AND ANGELINA WAS THE FIRST TO COME TO MIND. SHE SEEMS CARELESS.
ReplyDeleteI thought Biel and Timberlake at first, but now I'm on the Brad & Angie train. Especially when he says the guy knew she prefered women, but thought he could "change her ways". Everyone knows about Angelina's past. I can see Brad thinking this (having kids, a family) would be different.
ReplyDeleteAngie is the very first person that came to mind - I thought Ted had posted a blind about her - years ago now - and her name had something to do with a broom.
ReplyDeleteAnd her sapphic love is well known, as is her use of men.
I'm stuck on anyone refering to Brad Pitt as a sweet guy though.
well if this is angie and brad who is the felicity bi about? Remember the one about drugs .. doesnt he keep the same names throughout his bi's?
ReplyDeleteAnne Heche & James Tupper.
ReplyDeletejessica biel and angelina jolie don't fit Ted's language clues - Bored Brunhilda means its someone with short first name, longer last, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'm going to go with Drew Barrymore and her latest fling Justin Long.
ReplyDeleteI just read on another gossip site and they used the phrase "drew barrymore's revolving door of dates" and mentioned her previous claims of bisexuality...etc etc.
Bored Broomhilda - Drew Barrymore
Buzz Thrill - Justin Long
its a suggestion anyway
-me
for some reason....courtney cox??
ReplyDeleteI am thinking Eva and Tony on this one
ReplyDeleteBored Broomhilda = Angelina, because there's just something a little witchy {in a bad way} about her reptilian features.
ReplyDeleteBuzz Thrill = Brad Pitt
I think Ted's switched the names around - Broomhilda is Angelina and Bored is Jolie... Just an idea.
ReplyDeleteCome on!! This HAS to be Ms. Romaine Caesar Salad (Romjin-Stamos) and Jerry O'Connell! It's called "One Anchovies on the Sade Blind Vice" and he mentions Caesar salad, which totally fits with Romjin and her "dufus" guy!
ReplyDeleteDuh, I meant "One anchovies on the SIDE Blind Vice"
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeletegreat pick up janele .. you sound like you understand "ted-ese" fluently
ReplyDeleteLOL - Honestly, unless he's Timmy, I could care less what he says as of late!
ReplyDeleteCome on, Ent! Throw us a freakin bone here!
But, yes Donna. I do understand Ted a bit more than some other people on here. Maybe It's cause I'm a Blind Vice junkie, but I really do kinda like him.
ReplyDeleteI made a mistake previously .. I thought that fake a la ferocity was angie .. so this has to be someone else ...(jumping on janele's bandwagon)
ReplyDeleteJanele, "on the Sade" would actually be FUNNIER if we think about the Marquis, LOL!!!! I like your title better ;)
ReplyDeleteRomijn/OConnell is a good one for this.... I wonder if he was feeling a little threatened? Ergo the sudden weekend wedding after 2+ years of engagement?
Its Drew Barrymore and the Mac Guy.
ReplyDeleteBrad Pitt is more than "..an okay honey", and he's comes off as a very bright guy -- well,on intellectual stuff, anyway.
ReplyDeleteJT, on the other hand? No one will ever accuse him of being a genius. Oh, this is so JT/Biel.
Buzz Thrill is totally Justin Timberlake.
ReplyDeletejolie giving pitt the boot?
ReplyDeleteSee - those Random photo's ? They're not so random.
ReplyDeleteI know, Twisted. He pretty much solidified it's Jerry and Rebecca.
ReplyDeleteI'm not trying to be a snot nor discount a very good guess..lol...I just can't remember a time that Rebecca salad was going through men right/left/center... Was it before the Uncle Jesse days...I thought she went right from him to Jerry?
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I first thought of Angelina, but I think Drew is an excellent guess also.
ReplyDeleteBrad and Ang..."man mangling ways"
ReplyDeletedid she not wear a shirt soaked in blood of her first husbands? Jonny Lee Miller...and the blood vial with Bill Bob??
Buzz Thrill- Brad Pitt? totally.
What do the "and it ain'ts" have to do with any of these peeps? Janele? Twisty? Anyone?
ReplyDeletePinkster, I'm sorry, I have no clue. I'm trying to figure it out myself.
ReplyDeleteLet's see...Kate Hudson is a 'ho.
Bill Clinton is a 'ho.
Elizabeth Hasselbeck needs to get laid.
No, that's not it.
Hillary Clinton is rumored to be a lesbian.
Nope, that doesn't match up either.
See? I suck at these.
Oh good grief It is Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.
ReplyDelete1. Broomhilda lol she was a witch and Nicole played in the movie Bewitched.
2. Nicole is known for being super thin and eating salads.
3. Her face seems frozen or bored looking all the time.
4. There have been rumors for years that she liked women more then men.
As for the "buzz" reference Keith was in rehab within months of them getting married. Also Keith is very well known for his bed hopping.
Mmmmmmm
ReplyDelete"a pro at the ersatz nooky thang if ever there was one."
That could very easily be Nicole, what with all the faking she a Tommy Girl did all those years
For some reason I feel like it's an unmarried couple.
I do not think it's Drew and Justin Long becasue they aren't even a couple...they were just seen making out once.
Not too helpful, I know.
from deep inside the ugly betty camp, its not rebecca and jerry.
ReplyDeleteGot to be Angelina.
ReplyDeleteI don't buy it.
Kristen said...
ReplyDeletefrom deep inside the ugly betty camp, its not rebecca and jerry.
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Why did I feel like I was watching Dateline line when I read this? LOL Kristen, thanks for the heads up
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LOL @ Twisty
I can't see this being Jessica Biel, bcs she's only become more "famous" since sating JT - ie why would she cut off her link to the top?
ReplyDeleteCan't be AJ & BP either - call me crazy, but the way Ted has worded it here it just doesn't have the...significance? it would if it WAS AJ & BP. They are one of the most talked about celeb couples on the planet - just my opinion, but yeah, I don't read this as someone with THAT much star power.
I would say Paris Hilton, bcs she's been all "I'm done with partying, I'm done with all the dating, I want a nice guy & I want to have a baby" - but I can't think of anyone she's actually WITH, even remotely seriously.
So what I'm saying here is I have no clue....LOL
Sh*t, that was a long comment, sorry.....LOL
ReplyDeleteAnd that should say since she's been "DATING" JT...but I guess "sating" works too...LOL
"As for the "buzz" reference Keith was in rehab within months of them getting married."
ReplyDeleteIf I remember correctly, it was mere WEEKS after they got married. I guess it was all the wedding stress.
I really wanted to guess at this one but I have no idea what he said.
ReplyDelete