Gift Writes Back And Encloses A Photo

The letter from Gift

My Dear Ted

I thank you so much for your kind and wounderful informations which I received with thanks and respect to you with understanding.

I have contacted the Bank officials to see that everything moves fine with co-operation and understanding.

I can see that you are a Person of sincerity and I have given you all trust with all my heart believing that you will keep to your words and see that people around you are blessed through this funds, when it comes to your account.

I believe you know my health condition that I may die anytime, and I want you to have this transaction in your heart and do all things are yours, make sure you treat this transaction as your personal issue follow up and keep all instructions.

I am happy to inform you that I have forwarded your details to the Bank as to proceed immediately for the transfer.The Funds is with BANQUE NATIONALE D’INVESTISSEMENT and you have to expect the contact of the bank, please whatever you don't understand try to ask me as I want you to know that all trust are in your hands and you must keep to your words and put all assistance and supports to see the best of this transfer.

I need your prayers and I believe whatever you plan for my health will be the success to me.I am happy for you and will always expect to hear from you, the Bank promised to contact you for details.

I believe you know the acondition of my health, if you don't hear from me, never you be worried, because I know where I am going and I do these just to show my love and likeness to the people of the world, so follow up and I am happy that your Bank details have to presented to the Bank.

Always get back to me as to know your communication with my
bank director.

NB: Attached is my sick picture looking forward to see yours.

I wait for your email always.Mrs Gift Clement.

My response

Dear Gift,

Thanks for writing me back so quickly and getting the bank to write me that quickly as well. I wish my own bank was as speedy as yours. It's just amazing to me that a woman laying in a hospital bed with plugs everywhere in her body, dodging her husband's killers 24 hours a day has found the time to write to me, attach photos and also to contact a bank on the other side of the world from you and get them to write me, all within 24 hours.

But, mine is not to reason why, but only to spend all that money. I'm really looking forward to all the money Gift, but I have to be honest with you. I know it might be hard to hear, but I'm cheating on you. I know, I know, we just met and already I'm straying. It's just like with my 3rd wife and the caterer at the wedding reception. It's not that I don't think you are sexy because God help me woman, you are one fine looking woman even with the cancer and the tubes and the family members out to kill you.

Anyway I'm cheating on you with a woman who is offering me 20% of $8.5M and all I have to do is give her my bank account number. I don't have to worry about her dying or her relatives trying to kill me or making funeral arrangements. Plus she's only 20 years old and is the daughter of the former President of The Ivory Coast. Hey, isn't that where your bank is? Maybe you two know each other.

Anyway, her name is Alice Ginger and the money came from her dead mother. If Alice is only 20 and her mom died in 2004, then her mom must have been pretty young when she died. Do you think that your husband's killers could have killed Alice's mother? That would be some f**king coincidence. Anyway, she's only 20 Gift. I'm like 67 years old and so a 20 year old paying me money is kind of hot. Usually its the other way around which is why I want your money so badly, and to also help charity.

I know you probably don't know what f**king means and if your husband died in 2001 you probably haven't been getting much f**king anyway so it doesn't really matter.

The bank sent me a letter asking for some kind of Diplomatic A/c number and Pinc Code before they would release the money. So, you need to go ahead and give me that. It sounds really important and top secret and is way better than a regular checking account like we have here in the US. Do you get interest on that account? ATM withdrawals free?

I opened my checking account because the woman at the new accounts desk was hot and I wanted to spend 20 minutes talking to her. I think I was really making a good impression until she told me I needed $100 to open the account and I only had like $50. But still, good times.

I hope you and I will have good times Gift. There probably won't be very many with you on your last legs and your husband's killers thinking of new ways to do you in, but I want you to know, I'm going to treasure our memories and moments and will suck up to you as long as that cash is flowing.

I know you said you wanted another photo of me, but instead, I'm going to send you one of my very best friend Toothy.

Love Always,

Ted

(p.s) Hope you are okay with a little skin