Fashion Rocks--Extra Extra Snarky

I want you to remember this is Fashion Rocks which takes place during Fashion week, and many of these people want to be or have been models. Maybe the photographers were pissed at everyone because J-Lo didn't share what she had or something, but these people for the most part look awful. They should just be grateful it wasn't in LA and in the sunshine or they would even look worse.

With all that being said Alicia Keys looks amazing. She's lost some weight and love the long hair and dress and if I thought she could take all 400 hairy pounds of me I would go for it.

Carrie Underwood is nothing special and not as innocent as she would lead you to believe.
What the hell happened to Carmen Electra's face? Seriously. I like Carmen and it's like something happened since last week and she's aged twenty years.
Ashanti is hiding the 20 extra pounds well. It was about 30 pounds and she's been working like a mad woman to burn it all off. Weight gain will happen if you are living with a guy who has the munchies almost 24 hours a day.
Don't you feel like the last time you saw Ashlee Simpson smile was back in the 3rd grade when it was Jessica's turn with Daddy.
There are no words to describe this look. Remember, Avril wants to be a model, and someone told her ugly zebra striped ass that she looked good and then she agreed with them. She's got stripes on the top and the bottom and probably underneath also. This has to go in the top ten ugliest looks of all times at any show, premiere, opening, anything. It is horrible and can't believe she's even smiling. When she got home after everyone laughed, her husband probably got his tiny ass beat.
This look used to be artificially contrived, now I think it's what she smokes, and lots of it. Everyday, all day.

tick, tick, tick. Plus you wore that last year.
When Jessica Alba pulls her hair back it just makes her look even more skinny and bony because she's emphasizing the fact that she has no fat anywhere on her body. Not that I still wouldn't take a shot and not that
50 Cent didn't take his own shot also.
Glad to see Fergie is back to being her ugly, man looking self because if I had to be nice to her two days in a row, would probably have had to take whatever J-Lo's taking.
This dress Mischa's wearing doesn't even fit. I'm not even going to show you how hideous the back looks. Did she really tell the designer, "OMG, I love this dress."

Even one of my favorites Lee Ann Rimes looks terrible. What the hell is going on with her eyes? It's like she's got Avril's raccoon eye thing going on.
Who knew Kimora had six chins. Just recounting. There are six.
I read something last week that said Kat DeLuna was going to be bigger than Jennifer Lopez. Right now she's just a bigger mess, and take into account that Jennifer is one big freaking mess.
"Hey ladies, who wants to be first tonight with The Piv."
50, LL, and Ludacris look great. They really should be on the top with Alicia.

You know that it is a crap day when Teri Hatcher actually looks good compared to everyone else.
Tyra looks amazing. Finally a model who gets it and knows what to wear and how to wear it. Not that she does it all the time. She can be a big mess too.
If you are wondering what happened to Luka, Suzanne Vega ate him.
Nicole looks like a Brady Bunch episode, but it kind of looks decent. I always think she can be pretty when she tries. If she wasn't such a bitch since she gave up drinking and drugs, she would almost be a pleasant date.