If You Talk Crap About The Mom It Doesn't Count--Now Safe For Work But Still Not The Stomach

When most parents see their children in jail, they worry about their safety or their health or what's going to happen to them when they get back into the free world. You want to know what Kathy Hilton worried about the most when Paris was in jail? "Seeing the rashes on her arms and face from the thin sheets." The freaking thread count on the thin sheets used in the jail was what she worried about the most? How spoiled is this damn family that when their daughter goes to jail, the thing they worry about most is the sheets.

It seems that Paris breaks out in a rash if her skin is exposed to anything under a 1,500 thread count in her sheets. She prefers higher of course, but will suffer 1,000 if necessary should she be camping or in a third world country. Faced with sheets that had thread counts in single digits, Paris began breaking out and suffering like no socialite ever should. When Kathy and her husband were thwarted in their attempt to smuggle in a set of 1500's disguised as a poncho/shawl they instead let Paris rub against their clothes so her skin could remember what real fabric was supposed to feel like.

As soon as Paris got home, Kathy was all ready with the real goods. "I had fresh, really soft towels, and really soft sheets and one of those really soft, cuddly [blankets] called 'my blankey,' and nice soft pillow cases."

You think this is as bad is gets don't you? You are thinking to yourself, Ent, I really can't get more disgusted with this family. But wait, there's more. Not one to ever let a good plug get by, Kathy Hilton served up this gem as well when she spoke about Paris' reaction to the sheets and towels.

"She went in, and she looked at the Fresh Farms soap, and she looked at the towels and the Evian water by her bedside. I wanted to make her feel really welcome. And we went downstairs and made a sandwich. And she ran outside with her doggie. And she ran, and she was screaming, 'Oh, this feels so good. I feel so lucky.' "

Two plugs from mom and Paris running with her doggie? I think Kathy has confused Paris' favorite position and the animal more commonly referred to as a dog. As in Paris' breath smells like dog piss. Were one to say her breath smelled like doggie piss it just wouldn't sound right.

I know this family is spoiled and high and mighty, but I didn't realize that Kathy Hilton was an idiot to the extent that she would actually let herself be quoted or saying these ridiculous things. Also, you would think Kiss Ass Magazine (People) would have advised her that she was going to look like the most spoiled diva and her kid the biggest brat on the planet if this got out. Maybe Kiss Ass Magazine had their nose so far in Kathy's ass that they couldn't say what she should have done.