Thursday, July 26, 2007

Today's Blind Items

So this former A list teen television and movie star of the 80's is basically out of money because of a stale career and a serious drug habit. The only thing he has left to sell is his house. So, he calls a real estate agent and she comes over to look at the house and decide what it's worth. Well the first one is there for all of about five minutes when our actor starts hitting on her and trying to have sex with her and she basically flees. After many apologies, the broker sends over a man this time and he walks through the house. The house is in a great location and should sell for $4 or $5 million IF it was in good shape. The problems with the house are (a) multiple sections of the wall show fire damage from freebasing incidents gone bad (b) one of the second floor bathrooms has no floor because one night our actor got drunk and thought about putting a fire pole from the 2nd floor to the first and basically took a sledgehammer and knocked it all out. There is a door, a toilet and a tub. No counter or floor anywhere else. (c) The kitchen is covered in mold. The floors, the walls, any exposed surface are covered in it as well as rodent droppings and roaches everywhere. (d) the entire house smells like death and rehab. While the agent is walking through the house, our actor is doing one line of coke after another and keeps offering the agent one and is getting more and more offended that the agent will not share or participate. He then starts thinking the agent is actually a policeman and goes to find his gun. (Why he would get his gun if he thought it was a cop is beyond me) While looking for his gun, the agent gets the hell out and no one has been back. Meanwhile, people do sometimes hire this guy for work, but only enough to keep him in drugs. (Not the Corey's although I wouldn't want to go to their place either)

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