Paris Hilton announced she was going to star in a new movie that begins filming next month. The whole world at once collectively rose to their feet and pleaded for her to say it wasn't true. Unfortunately it is true and to make our lives even more miserable she is going to coincide her new record release with the release of the film. She wants the world to have the pleasure of watching her on the big screen and listening to her new CD on the way to and from the movie.
Paris was heard saying that so many offers came in and she had difficulty just choosing one of the projects to work on. This must be the same flood of offers that caused her agency to drop her and the tremendous box office performance for her previous cinematic wonders Bottoms Up, Pledge This and House of Wax which combined didn't earn as much as Harry Potter did in one hour. Her announcement also called movie critics to quit en masse at the thought of having to waste 90 minutes of their lives sitting through another film of Paris Hilton which doesn't include her doing it up the butt for coke.
simultaneous round of applause and dry heaves heard 'round the world....
ReplyDeleteWhat ever happened to that cinematic genius The Hottie and the Nottie?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ent, for writing such a wonderful and fitting piece about this creature. I loved the delicious snippet you chose to end it with too. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI'm not happy about LiLo's actions now seemingly putting all the horrible things Paris did/do to shame, though. Not good. Paris is probably throwing a party to celebrate this as we speak.
It sounds like a knuckle-headed decision by whatever studio is footing the bill. On the other hand, Jessica Simpson is making another movie, so . . .?
ReplyDelete