Being Nicole Richie's Lawyer Sucks. Plus, Is She REALLY Pregnant?
There is nothing a lawyer hates more than being at the court's mercy. It usually happens when you have failed to do something correctly on a motion and the judge treats you like an idiot in front of your fellow members of the bar. It sucks, BUT, it also happens to everyone so no one laughs at you or thinks less of you unless it happens everyday.
What really sucks is going to the court and asking for a favor which you know shouldn't be granted, won't be granted and you would never have ask to be granted if it wasn't for your wretched little client who may or may not be pregnant. Is everyone really and truly convinced she's pregnant or is she just saying it? Where are all those CDAN skeptics? Is a miscarriage possible immediately after trial?
Nicole: I'm going to Canada to watch my bf play a gig
Lawyer: Ummm. You have a trial that starts Wednesday.
Nicole: I'm not going to make it. Can't you get it postponed or something? Tell them I have morning sickness.
Lawyer: I'll see what I can do. I didn't know you were pregnant.
Nicole: I don't know if I am either but everyone thinks I am and maybe it will buy me some sympathy. If I have to go to court tomorrow they will take away my pillow and everyone will see that I just weigh 70 pounds and that my belly bump is there because I ate an Almond Joy and it got stuck.
So then the lawyer has to go and say his expert is unavailable until August 5th. There is no way on this earth that her lawyer wouldn't know that way in advance. You don't schedule an expert the day before a trial.
Lawyer: Hey expert, I need you at a trial in two days. Same stuff. Drugs, drinking, bad combination not her fault.
Expert: I'm booked solid for the next six months.
Lawyer: Oh. Well let me see if I can get a continuance.
It just doesn't work that way. I would love to see the transcript of what was actually said in court and how Nicole's lawyer phrased the whole continuance thing. My guess is he said something like this.
Lawyer: Your honor, we would request a continuance. Our expert is ready for tomorrow your honor but has not really had a chance to review all the records in as much detail as he would like. He has a trial scheduled for the next few weeks and so the soonest he will have a chance to review all of the records and documents and be ready for trial is about August 5th.
The other thing I find fascinating about all this is that the State went along with Nicole's lawyer I guess. I don't see any statements from them expressing outrage about the continuance. The easiest way to get a continuance is to have the two sides agree to one, BUT the judge doesn't have to agree even if the two sides do.
I'm guessing you will see Nicole's happy face tomorrow in court.
