ZX Parties Like, Well, Like A Movie Star Without The Drinking

i can't stand electronics especially computers. yes, they're magic. yes, they combine all the great minds in the world and make information accessible. but goddamn it i can't stand that if you do exactly the same thing twice in a row, the first time it doesn't work and the second time it does. or the sixth time. anyway, done with my rant.

so i had a lunch meeting Friday and it was to meet someone I've been texting since Sundance last year, my friend Frankie. He ran into me recently and I swear not only did I not recognize him AT ALL, he looked like Charles Manson. So anyway he's written me a film and invited me to Ryan Gosling's birthday. I invited my best friend to come and when I mentioned the Ryan Gosling thing, suddenly I had two other girls in my car. Is he even cute?

We dropped by this other event and I wish we'd gone earlier because it was right up my alley. GAMES! Carnival games like ski ball and mini basketball and air hockey and car racing and hot dogs and lemonade and a whole candy stand and shirts you could design yourself. I was in heaven. We had finagled to park in valet without valeting because my best friend started flirting with one of the police officers and he said,"Damn, you're hot," and I knew we were in.

When we left, it was to meet up with my friend Frankie, but I got a new phone Thursday and the text messages including directions were on the old one. So we canvassed Beachwood Canyon. Finally another friend called me up and said that everyone was at Parc. So we went up to the door and my best friend who's had a few and had to pee, looks at the bouncer while holding her crotch and says, "We're here for Ryan Gosling." I was so humiliated but somehow we made it over to the cool side of the velvet rope and two minutes later we were getting groovy with these two boys. They sure could dance. It really impressed me not only how wide a berth people gave us but how you can dance anything but bump and grind to hiphop.

So I missed Frankie's call and once again we were blindly cruising Beachwood Canyon and every now and then one of the girls would open the window and yell "Gosling," or let out a screech which I think was meant to be the Gosling call. Frankie finally contacted us and we ended up at his party which was filled with very cool people but when I started to talk to this director in the kitchen, i guess my best friend slipped into the bedroom with god knows who and refused to be moved. so i tried to cajole her until five in the morning when my friends promised that the guy she was with was a regular Prince Charming who never, ever had sex and that they'd drive her home in the morning.whew.

but wait there's more. my best friend went out again on Saturday night without me and left her phone at the playboy mansion and then spilled half a Diet Coke on her seat on the way over. I would have paid her so much to go up to security clutching her crotch and saying, "I'M HERE FOR HUGH!"