"Hi, I am Pete Wentz. You may remember me for being in the group Fall Out Boy. Of course I have also managed to have nude pictures of me show up mysteriously on the internet and I love being with men from the waist up. Those pics are out there on the internet for all my future hookups because I don't want there to be any surprises or disappointments when all is revealed. This way you know what I am coming to the table with. Everyone thinks Ashlee Simpson and I are dating, but really I just use her to score other guys and girls. She thought she was my girlfriend, but she is just not quite freaky enough. She is freaky enough to let me make out with guys, but not freaky enough to keep me satisfied or to understand why I would date Rumer Willis. OK, no one in America understands why I would date Rumer Willis. Maybe it was a bet I lost or maybe she is the only one who understands a man sometimes needs to play both sides of the street. Ashlee and I started fading when Nick was no longer her brother-in-law. While they were related, I always held out hope that some kind of sick love between he and Ashlee and myself could be worked out."