Jessica Simpson Always Wears Panties

This article is so funny, I don't care if Jessica Simpson was accurately quoted or not. I am linking to the article, but also because of its length just reprinting it here as well.

JESSICA SIMPSON will never get caught without underwear like BRITNEY SPEARS and LINDSAY LOHAN, because she always covers up her private parts. The actress/singer is astonished so many young celebrities have been snapped panty-less, and would be horrified to find pictures of her genitals splashed across magazines and the internet. Simpson says, "I don't understand what's going on with that. I'm the kind of girl who always puts my hand between my legs when I'm getting out of a car if I'm wearing a short skirt. I always wear underwear. It's a personal rule."

SATIRICAL continuation of above quote.

Option #1 -

Daddy always checks to see if he can see my panties when I get out of the car and also checks to make sure I am always wearing them.

Option #2 -

Of course my personal rule could change if my next album bombs as bad as this latest one.

Option #3 -

I have lots of personal rules. You know that personal rules are different than public rules. I don't think there are public rules that talk about wearing underwear so I had to make a personal rule even though we are talking about going out in public. You understand?