Crazy Days and Nights

You know I am just grateful to be able to talk about something other than she who must not be named and her extended minions. I think London Sheraton is really feeling the lack of attention since she did an on purpose boob slip last night. No links to it because frankly, everyone has seen at least one if not both of them being photographed, filmed and groped and there is no need for more. (Besides there is a ban on her until the 15th)

Marilyn Manson who has been diverting attention from Barstow Marriott is not usually a target of the pap, but in this case is too good to ignore. First there were the late night calls from Lindsay Lohan which will always get you in the tabloids. But now, there is more. Seems our gothic one has a thing for 19 year olds that look nothing like his wife. Evan Rachel Wood is the lucky girl. Now, I am not one to jump to conclusions, but the list of activities the couple has shared seems to be lengthy and I wonder if any of them happened before Ms. Wood became 18?!? Of course now that she is 19 and he is 34, that is much more respectable. Of course it could be that Marilyn (woman's name) likes dating Evan (man's name) for other reasons.




In today's episode of the Lindsay Lohan love fest, I want to take you back to October of last year to the 10th Annual Hollywood Film Festival Awards where Lindsay was given the Breakthrough Acting Award for her acting in Bobby. We are all so proud of you Lindsay. Even Emilio Estevez says you are the best and that is saying a lot from the guy who is Stakeout and Men At Work. Not to mention that he had to sleep with Paula Abdul or at least pretend to.

If that thing with Kate Hudson and I does not work out, then at least I have a back up plan. Drew Barrymore can be my date to the Golden Globes. Yes, she is all over with Fab. Actually, as much as Drew would like to go to the Globes with me, I actually think this relationship was good for her. Whenever I saw them together they always looked happy and nothing was forced for the cameras. For the record, NEVER say how much you love someone and love being with them in a monthly magazine interview because inevitably you break up with that loved someone by the time they ever get the issue to the newsstands.


Kelly Osbourne. Playboy. Fully nude. What can I really add to that?

It has been awhile since we got to trash Heather Mills, and I miss it. I really do. So, this article talks about how she went skiing in Slovenia and stayed at a place that only costs about $50 a night and is two hours from the closest skiing. The article accuses her of being cheap by staying there. Honestly, I don't really care that much except to say that it appears she was staying with at least 4 other people in the room. That is the story. That, and in the box on the right with related stories is the headline Mucca hit me with false leg. See, that is class baby. That is money.
Baby Spice needs money. There really is no other reason for wanting to reunite the Spice Girls. She is kind of like the other Jacksons who all need Michael to say yes to a reunion so they can make some money. Otherwise they end up on UK Celebrity Big Brother.

See, when you make a deal with Melanie Griffith for an autobiography. You have to remember a couple of things. It probably is going to only cover the last few years because it is going to be hard to remember anything past that. The other thing is, she was supposed to do it when she turns 50. My guess is she does not want to admit she is even close to 50. She probably thinks she is still married to Don Johnson or doing it with Ryan O' Neal while Tatum was allegedly watching. I do know that if she really did tell ALL, it would be incredible and as much as I am not a fan of hers, I would be at the front of the line to buy the book.

"Hi, My name is Sienna Miller and it has been two days since I had an article written about me so I need to talk about myself again. I have the best publicist in the entire world. I love talking about the sex scene I did in my latest movie. We made it as real as possible. To make it seem like I care about anything other than myself or Jude Law, I am pretending to date this guy who used to work at the hotel we are staying at. We are reenacting our sex scene everyday so that way we can keep talking about it forever."

"Hi, My name is Mariah Carey and it is the media's fault for portraying me as sexy. It was not my decision to wear next to nothing as often as possible. I just do what everyone else does and everyone wears nothing."

For sticking around this long, here is the link to the nether regions of the Burbank Holiday Inn